careless whispers- 5.7


blahhh.

physics was easier than expected.
but unfortunately, I'm still gonna fail.


wheeee! last week was justB &today was ROYSTONTAN and and and...
Patrick
that sg idol guy.



the films were reallyreally nice, in a retarded yet artistic kinda way.

then patrick came out to sing 'bad day'.
and at the end, around like 4 pupils gave standing ovation.
then they paiseh, quickly sit back down. cept for my snr-from-4I who was still standing, applauding

and knowing him, I think he was being sarcastic or something. anyway I found him quite mean luh.

then everyone thought he was trying to be nice or something, &everyone stood up to give standing ovation as well.

mmm.. then we called for encore, &he sang yourbeautiful. then halfway through, all the limies went off to get our bags reluctantly
like abit rude luh. but ohwells.

patrick. is not a good singer.

but I give him credit for his courage.
and so does everyone. well, almost.

its just... sometimes, yoo've gotta got to come back to reality.

fell asleep during chem today. for a min. then she caught me luhh. ._.
wayyyy embarrassing luh.

 but the weird thing was when I woke up, she still hasnt moved on to a different point.

blahhh.

I'm probably labelled now by her as TROUBLE STUDENT.

cause its like the 2nd time in 3lessons that she found my behaviour unsatisfactory

so much for first impressions.

wait till she sees my chem results though.

sighsigh. what a bleak future I have ahead of me

sex ed. was _
I wonder why they call it sex ed, when its just plain COUNSELLING.

bleughhh.
brokedown during the lesson.

embarrassed yet again.
cause pl was like: eh, zhixin, are you ohkay

and inwardly I was like OHMYGOD nonono


few days ago bx was already like
saying how appropriate thewholeshit_ was for me.

then throughout thewholeshit_ both of us were like finding it hard to tahan and all.
ive just dug myself a deeper hole.


SML strikes again
what a _

same thing happened. expected me to upload some shit like by 5pm. which was IMPOSSIBLE.

since I usually reach home like 7pm.

urgh. fucker fuck off.

thank goodness I wont be seeing her next year.

xie tian xie di urhhhh.

all tw1T5 please stay a safe distance from all limies.
lala~ seems like the whole class is pretty much anti-tw1t5

wee ishh tw1t5 wee ish h0tt wee ish everyth1ng euu ishh norttx


0650pm

OMFG PHYSICS TEST- 4.7


pui pui pui
just finished revising 3topics of physics.


I actually feel a sense of accomplishment ohkay
cause at least I managed to get myself to do something
&I do understand the concepts and stuff luh.

its true. they dont appreciate everything we do.


perhaps you're right you know, they seem to be satisfied with lowquality work that _s give.
ahwells.

anyway, unless yoo guys pass down the skills to us, lowquality work is all they have to be satisfied with ler.



but I guess its the same everywhere.

the general misconception that we are all a bunch of
good for nothings.

take today's prize presentation for instance.
no offence to anyone, but yeah...

we're the laughingstock of the school now.

and they dont miss the water till the well runs dry
its their loss anyway.

day's smitten with my jnr!
ah NOOO. omg.

must mourn for my jnr's soul later.

&she noticed the change.
and the guy was trying to convince me that no one will notice-

but day noticed

oooo. and I predicted that the cher-nxt-lvl would be wearing blackshoes
wheeee I'm psychic people!

her shoes look decent today, in my opinion.

but her bubbleskirt was fugly. lala.
cause of the weirdfreakish way the hem of the skirt goes up to reveal the thigh in front. and behind as well.

and with her small frame &all...
well, the skirt was just too puffy and and and-

bleugh. it should be burnt.

everyone commented she looked like Aladdin.

I'm kinda envious of her though.

cause she seem to be wearing something different everyday

so that means she is rich.
and she have loaddds of clothes.
nevermind what kind

urhhhh... i go continue mugging ler. break-time up.


see, I am capable of exercising self-control after all.

1043
yoo've always been there for me - 3.7


I planned to mugmugmug today. :/
but then decided wth, I'm just gonna fail physics anyways,
so whats the point

save me baybee
do what you always do
save me from this hellhole
take me away with yoo.

and as for the projectworks. sigh.

which is why I always prefer to go solo. no offence.
but sometimes, things are easier to handle when you're working alone

I'm used to working alone anyways.

bleugh.

tried to play Audition just now. but the thing was corrupted.
&I was looking so forward to it.

found a few vids of it on Youtube. Not as good as the trailer for SEA, but still

so went for therapy, in hope of feeling better.

and the first thing I did was to go map2. since map4 is always full.
and guess who's there.

him
when all this time I'm trying to forget yoo
yoo reappeared.

he deleted me from his buddylist. so I didnt know he was online.
well, I guess its expected luh. since I deleted him on MSN.

 so, I just stood there in that map.
him ignoring me, pretending I dont exist.

and me doing the same.

cause he was PTing with my friend. &it would seem rude to CC on my own friend.
so I just had to tahan

things are better this way.
rather than avoiding. hiding.

there's no ME in his life
no HIM in mine

 nothing happened that day.
nothing much

...

on a lighter note, osamaz is back!


dont know how he got a new account.
but he did anyway.



&he's back with a warrior.

personally, I think he hasnt learnt from his own lesson.
cause his warrior is lvl47. and its like 3weeks only.

I dont believe!



mmm, but I admire him for getting away scot-free most of time.

yea.

worldcupfever.



sighsigh. and its school tomorrow.
another day of emptiness.

Its scary how my world has no choice but to revolve around school.

like, when I go for therapy
my friends keep asking me why "so long never play" etcetc.

then I'll always be like : school mah. you no school meh. ._.

then inwardly, I'll be jealous,
cause some people just got all the time in the world.
 no pressure. nothing.

and maybe if I pray hard, I'll wake up-
0704pm


happy birthday baybee. have a safe flight too.
here's some sugar from me to yoo.
<3

7708801314520.
thats what you said to me 8months ago.
&if today is our last then baybee:

5805201314520.
goodbye baybee.

people come&go in our lives.
and they go too fast.

joy to all youths. its youth day.
we grow up too fast.

rejoice.rejoice.its youth day. its youth day. youth.day.
bleuugh. its the same for every other 'holiday'.

who are they trying to kid-

 I dont owe you any explanation
whats over is over.

besides, I dont see the point.
why should I bother. why. when everything I say will be used against me in the end.

I've already chosen a long time ago to move on.

turning back is suicide.
 even if it is just to think&remember the reason why-

 i seriously need shopatherapy.

after all the trauma from school. from thinkingTOOmuch. from reminiscing

I might as well enjoy my last few moments of freedom anyways.
while I can.

cause good stuff, they never do last.

 mmm, i get the msg luh beixin =)
cya later. maybe.

baybee, this seems real to me-
0000am
reminisce - 2.7


*screams &tears head*

cant forget cant forget cant forget.

just cant fucking forget.
everykisseverytouch.HIM.
the nightmare that is my life.

aurrrrgh. its amazing how I can forget almost everything else but I cant forget _.

&i can only hug myself and just wait for the memories to pass.

but im stronger than this.

I badly need a soft toy to rant to. sniffs~

cause its the same ol' stuff thats tormenting me and I'm running out of trustworthy people to run to.

and if I run back to my confidants, they'll get irritated aft awhile. :/

gimme something to hug.

urh. dont get me wrong. I'm not depressed. I'm not lovesick. I'm noteven sad.

I'm not contemplating suicide.
which everyone seems to be doing nowadays.

no offence, JCD.

:/
but its true.

I just...
feel scared.
&tormented.

is there even a mood for what I'm feeling =(

its nothing.
people tell me its nothing.
but my conscious wont let me live it down.

making a mountain out of a molehill?
I dunno. since everyone says its NOTHING.
but to me its still SOMETHING.

cause if its NOTHING, it would mean NOTHING. which is what it SHOULD mean.
cause it wasnt love that fueled what happened.

so, it SHOULD be NOTHING.

but then, I'd be lying to myself.

sometimes I think I'm going bonkers.

I'm losing everything to these nightmares. to that fucker.

cause its all I think about when I've nothing else to think about :/
which is probably like 75% of the time.

OH LALA.

damn it all.
I think hugging myself is kinda pathetic. :/

wished someone had invented a timemachine.
or a pill that makes you forget traumatic experiences.

&how yoo torment me.
0356pm
firstofjuly- 1.7


thought today was the APRIL FOOLS DAY
...until I remembered they dont call it
JULY FOOLS DAY.

=)

wheee bought this really nice white shrug-thing from dionne. for 10bucks.
its so cool, even the icecubes are jealous.

I'm not kidding when I say my wardrobe is getting a bit cramp
:/ &i still want more.

I need change. CHANGE IS GOOD.

hmm, I should wish for a walk-in closet or something, like those in 13goingon30.
that'll be UBER COOL.
&.&

but I'd wish for more bling to buy more clothes first. x)
yeah. &shoes.

and denim skirts. hahas.
not owning denim skirts feel sorta... illegal to me. =x

aurgh.

leng and day stole MY WISHES.
as in, when we say the same thing at the same time, we're supposedly entitled to 1 wish.
but only 1 person gets the wish :/

yeah. the person has to hit the head of the other or something luh.
then my reaction like always S U P E R S L O W can.

so they took my wishes. =(

if I were faster, I could have gotten like 2 wishes. T.T

evil wish-stealers. pffft.

lalala``
._.

happy july fools day

out.
0545pm
its called chaos- 30th6


now, gimme something to think about, baybee-
 cause I thought given my STML,
I would have forgotten everything by now.

but it clings on.
like a leech.

everything yoo said.

these insecurities,
these memories,
can seriously eat me alive.

I cant forget. damn you, I cant forget.

cold fingers
on my skin
breaking the limits
forcing IN.
with fervor
[as if] no more tomorrow
[only you and me]
your pleasure for my sorrow.
now run those up&down
sending chills
and pretending
its passion we feel
treat me like a princess
treat me like you're mine
treat me like a whore
now, treat me like a toy
 &i broke away.
you tried to pull me back
saying its not _
saying its alright.
what happened to respect
what happened to time
what happened to promises
& all I found was lies.
strangers were all we were
and all we'll ever be
you know nothing about me
but you know everything

 *

feel so draind. after cca, had to rush home for tuition...which lasted until 9.45pm. sweet.

and andrew didnt like the noticeboard.
well, I admit it was shoddy work... but hey T.T i dont work well under pressure.

he asked me to re-do. sniffs~

&said that its weird for comclub noticeboard to be something handdrawn.

jl was terribly irritating today.

I mean, oi luh! the last I checked, you're retired.
like what marcus said, whats a handover if you refuse to hand over ._.

 so infront of everyone, we argued. well, not really. cause I owned him in within my first 3 sentences.

mmm then mr said that the cher waiting in another com room ask us to hurry&all.

but NOOOOOO, MRmy-hair-dries-faster-than-your-umbrella just had to go against his own policy and retain everyone.

if it was something interesting, I wouldn mind much. But it was about how the lilclock in our computer works.

and I dont see how this has anything to do with "the way COMCLUB works" as you so nicely put it.

this is what I called: CHAOS WHEN THE PRESIDENT IS GONE &THE USELESS VICE IS LEFT IN POWER.

 you said you're angry. but really, who gives a damn. get over yourself. you cant even get a girl without her finding you repulsive.

face it. &stop the ruining everyone's mood by banging on the piano in the canteen.
like some great person from 3a said to you: if you wanna perform, please practice.

alot of people say my hair didn change much.
and i wasted my money-

aurghhh.

knew I should've made it more dramatic.

Day didn come today. but I didn starve =) cause beixin supplied me MnMs & chyiwei spared me bites from her bread. ohhh wells.

i hate the way you're gone, &I'm still thinking about everything
which isnt suppose to mean anything

cause NOTHING is what I feel bout yoo.
 & nothing is what you feel bout me too-
1102pm
!boy-cut- 29th6


I feel so tired after towning.

got my haircut. well, it didnt came out as dramatic as I wanted it to be.
but its ohkay. considerably shorter now.
though they complained: NO DIFF LUH, U WASTE UR MONEY LUH.

eh. I should know better kay. I seriously feel lighter now.
damn, I should have taken my weight after the haircut,
then I would be like 1kg lighter or something :D

Dont be such a _ just cause I dont trust your haircutting skills.
at all.

but hey, I'm ohkay with my new hair luh.
even though I look like a boy with my hair tied up. :/

blind people dont know how to see the diff.

I look fuglier now. =/

I want a more dramatic one next time! hahahaha x)

Day and her afro hairstyle. she's obsessed with polka dots. like that cher-next-level.
who has interesting dress sense.

spent so much money today.&bugged by the weirdest people on the street.
=x dayy, if you're reading this, please return me my 20bucks or I'll have to starve tomorrow.

&zhixin hungry is not a good thing xP

went to take more neos! but turned out so fugly. T.T probably the neoprint spirit or something cause we keep taking&taking then they bushuang. urhhhurhur.

went to the entrance of the hole today. but no torchlight and the-light-at-the-end-of-the-dark-tunnel was rather dim. so winnie and I didn dare to go in. just loitered around the entrance =x

but on tuesday, we'll bring torchlight and we shall go EXPLORING! x)

people dont miss me if I die in there kayy!

aurgh. chem is horrible.
I'm gonna fail chem again, NO DOUBT ABOUT THAT. I want mr.lee! T.T

sorry, but I never did work well under pressure.

so here's to SSS next year.

math was just as bad. chyiwei was like: i pity yoo, she keep picking on you.

sniffs~

tragic, aint it. well, dont really mind it anymore. push me any further, &i'll snap.

but that's what they want. so lets give them what they ask for.

peaceout.
0854pm

weirdo with no name- 28th6


havent run in a looong time so today felt totally xhausted.
after just like what, 3 rounds?

hahas. yea. I know, im physically unfit

so slept through loads of lessons today. HAA!

&woke up all hot and sweaty since the classroom was like a suana.

the thing about lessons now is that, I can never concentrate.

dont get me wrong, I do try and everything. I mean, I know I gotta pull up my grades &all.
and I do WANT to.

&everytime I try to listen, I just end up thinking about _ or spacing off.

in fact, pl caught me today.
and he thought I was sick or something. huiyi said I act sad hahas. =x

Juz-b for assembly x) everyone wanted to shout ENCORE. but only EN came out.
lack of spirit.

I LOVEEE their I Dont Wanna Know. eh, actually, everything they did was quite good luh.

just that the Kiss Goodbye... rather...
its like, when they started, and everyone recognised it, everyone went LALAAA.

then they just abruptly stop and say XIEXIE.

>< bleughh. its like when a guy leans in to kiss you, but at the very last moment, they suddenly turn away.

I think I'm lucky today or something. x) cause SML cancelled the thing. for some weirdretardedreasonwhichIforgot.

&tuition was off as well.

so went towning with BX, carmen, leng and day.
ate at pastamania.
AND plazasing has so many nice clothes! arhhh!

then BX&carmen left earlier so... leng day and I went to take neos again! ahaha.

but yea, everything didn turn out as nice as the one in JE luh.
the same purple background thing got stuck again. Day reckons its a NEOPRINT MACHINE SPIRIT. or something.




the words are supposed to be : c'mon baybee, just pump it. =)

I am fugly :/

anyways, went to watch JUST MY LUCK. lalalala! i love mcfly! esp. HARRY THE DRUMMER! =)

whhhheeeeeees.

its rather silly actually. in freaky friday, it was a cookie, to switch lives. now, its a kiss, to switch luck.

if only things were that simple.
0857
We're furious and fast- 27th6


jl is seriously getting on everyone's nerves.

if you're retired, please stay retired.

he's refusing to hand over his insignias to ys. :/ he's impossible luh.

&he actually thinks people like him.
The People's President indeed.

He wanted to give everyone some writing assignment about 'an interesting part of the computer' or something like that. He actually thinks he's entertaining.

him: ...we have to keep them entertained anyway.
me: urhhh... they wont be entertained by you.
him: who says?!

._. he's seriously deluded.

he can go on for like forever so,I got a lil fed up and kinda... stop him
no matter, he deserves it =).

well, to all my jnrs, if you're reading this & you've missed out on the announcement we made just now...
you have the current regime's permission not to do his homework.
^^

aurrrgh. I totally detest SML. 4 peeps to upload some crap? ._.

&she CANNOT UNDERSTAND how downloaded fonts cannot be seen in another computer which DOES NOT have that downloaded font.
AND AND AND, while we're working our asses off, she has like the entire 2months or so just to get the contact no.

AND SO, we have to stay back tomorrow for HER. at 2.30pm. why not 2pm? 1.45? I dont even mind giving up my recess/lunch/WHATEVERR.
joseph reckons she wants to eat.
"she does nothing but eat."

rawh. cause of this, Im gonna miss a Limies Outing, &be SO VERY late for tuition. ._.

when it has been A LONG time since they had a teenage life.

 OHHH LALA. Im going so LALA over the AI DE JIU SHI NI that song.
though its like centuries old&all. it still makes me go lala. x)

and I keep seeing tutor!

wheee. its like my whole row, exclude day and chyiwei, are all BLEACH LOVERRS.

hahas. then in the mid of history lesson, we werelike shouting to each other and everything.

WINI feels that ICHIGO was hot&fuckable.
ohkay, he may be cool since obviously he's the main character, but he's SO NOT HOT LUH WINNINE!

see! even janson agrees with me that Byakuya is HOT
=)

&its working after all.
everything, I will soon forget
as long as I keep
on keeping on
<3

&i wanna forget the taste of you-
 0833pm
I hate First Days- 26th6


Lost my pencilcase on Friday. Found it in the com lab.

and within five minutes after finding my pencilcase,
I lost my belt

had to go on the rest of the day beltless.

how retarded is that.

so was the rest of my day basically.

lost my sketches. overdued homeworkS. debts. :/
and was forced to write a prize presentation script for my snrs, who participated in this competition, which I wasnt even aware of luh.

&i forgot which bus to take home. -.-

life sorta sucks nowadays.
but then again, you're not normal if your life doesnt suck.

:D

pl was telling us how in his time, there was this student or something who vandalised the school sign. like spraypaint and all. =O

just found that rather interesting =)

you know, we have to walk QUITEABIT just to get to one place or another in school.
I'm telling you, that place is creepy.
I've tripped like at least 5 times today. and that, is not good.

back to school blues.
my only consolation is that I got a window seat with a lovely view.

P.S. my table has this reallyreally emo ex-occupant.
I know, cause of what she wrote on the table.
something about : waiting for you to come back even if it means giving up my life. yea, that usual crap.

&btw, winnie, Ichigo is SO NOT FUCKING hot. &no, he's NOT fuckable. :/
like ewwww. that's almost as AURGGH as trying to convince ME to take chicken essence.

Urahara Kisuke & Kuchiki Byakuya, on the contrary... *licks lips*

:DDD

watching JustMyLuck on wednesday with Limies. &trying to get permission to get haircut. :/

yea, its my own hair and all &I dont even have the right to do what I want with it.
How cruel is that.

and looking at the way things are going now... shuddershudders.

thanks to chyiwei, who help me to pia zuowen &offered me her belt to escape LKC.
thanks to xinhang, who lent me her belt to get through art.
thanks to Goldie, for helping with the info
tyVVVVVm xD you guys rock.

 hmmm. did a bit of exploring today. and found out that... the place infront the school... had this weird road.
called LOCK ROAD.
which is super ulu.
and super creepy.

just like the school itself.

there are like only restaurants down there. and the food&stuff there are like SUPERex.

sniffsniffs.

here's to a better tomorrow.
here's to finding my belt.
here's to surviving rvayy.

 &you're the only thing that keeps me sane.
1123pm

two can play this game- 25th6


right. I'm booreeed. :/ I misplaced my jianbao. So I'm waiting for people with scanners to send me. or rather, to come back from their AFK status.

._.

lets face it, LKC is gonna slaughter me tomorrow.

way to start a new term.

7 random facts about myself

1 Rain makes me high :D
2 Thinking too much = cant live with or without it.
3 I'm a shopaholic &proud of it.
4 DHer&similar ships rocks my world xD
5 I blast the music real loud when I'm alone
6 I'm EMO. most of the time.
7 I love CHANGE.

7 things that scare me

1 his touch
2 all insects!
3,4,5,6,7 the unknown

7 random songs at the moment

1 Fast&furious
2 Rough Landing Holly
3 bababababu. or smtg =x
4 she left me
5 do I have to cry for you
6 Emotions
7 Brown eyes

7 things i like the most

1 Music
2 Dance
3 Shopping
4 Blogging
5 Sleep
6 Rain
7 myfwennns :D

7 people TO DO this

urh anyone wuliao bah.

*

You scored as Visual&PerformingArts.

Related majors that match your highest scored category: Art, Art Education, Art History, Ceramics, Culinary Arts, Dance, Drawing, Fashion Design, Film, Graphic Design, Interior Design, Jazz Music, Marketing (advertising), Music, Music Education, Music History, Music Theory, Orchestra, Painting, Photography, Piano, Theatre, Voice, Writing.

HR/BusinessManagement

88%

Visual&PerformingArts

88%

English/Journalism/Comm

81%

Psychology/Sociology

75%

Education/Counseling

69%

French/German/Spanish

56%

History/Anthropology

56%

PoliticalScience/Philosophy

50%

Religion/Theology

50%

Accounting/Finance/Econ

44%

Physics/Engineering

38%

Nursing/AthleticTraining

25%

Biology/Chemistry/Geology

13%

Mathematics/Statistics

6%

WHAT MAJOR IS RIGHT FOR YOU?
created with QuizFarm.com

i'm as bored as hell. ._.

 cause I cant live my life, like how yoo want me to.
0858pm.

abandon all rational thoughts.
abandon homework.
>=)

LALALA. Im gonna be in deepshit tomorrow but who cares.

give me motivation and I shall give you homework =)

yayys.

MCFLY IS MAKING ME HIGH.

 Everyone asked me
Who the hell is she?
That weirdo with 5 colours in her hair.

the thing about mcfly, is that its one of those bands where yoo can listen to for ages
and not get sick of it

like honey to the bees. ahahas

speaking of which, I'm gonna cut my hair sooon lala. with Day.

yayness. cause im getting sick of my hair.
its like, so LAST CENTURY LUH CAN. ._.

rawh. i shall set myself to mugger-mode now.
i really need to do something about my failing grades.

and i hate tuition. cause instead of making me improve, it just makes me busier then everr.
and i barely have the time to do homework luh.

&besides:

IM UNMOTIVATED.

 i'll be fine.
you'll be fine
this moment seems so long
dont waste now
precious time
we'll dance inside the song

 goodbye holidays. I wont miss yoo much. after what you did to me..
giving poor innocent kids like me false hope.
hmmmmph.

&im stronger than this. >=(
 0713pm

I dont know whats up with you.
yoo trying to make me jealous or what. cause it isnt working.

well, two can play a game.

 I dont need to hear your tragiclovestory. I dont need to hear how you're attached.
How you got over me.

its like you're trying to rub it in my face - that you got over me.

and you moved on.

&you're trying to provoke me, arent you

well, two can play a game.

 do I really need to hold up a neon sign saying: GET OVER YOURSELF DAMMIT.

cause I already moved on. I've moved on AGES AGO. I dont know what's up you.
for godknowshowlong, you've been pretending I didnt exist &here I was, glad you've finally disappeared from my life. and suddenly, you're back talking about some new girl.
and how you're sleeping with the lights on...

despo toots are getting on my nerves.
its not love we think we feel

&you have no tact, do you. insensitive. bleugh.

so tell me
everything
and listen
to my coldheartbeat
for I'm just emptyspace
for you to rant to &wail
you dont need to spare
a thoughtfor my feelings
cause obviously
I cant feel.

well, truth hurts. let's see if you can handle mine.

 shit starts tomorrow. how wonderful.

and the so-called holis end. for good. aurgh.
along with the broken promises. the lies. the _

it'll end.
cause I need it to.

i dont wanna go to school. *bangs head on table*
the chers were awfully pms-y the other day. T.T
I dont wanna go back and face their wrath.

*tears hair*

baby now I need to hold yoo tight-
1140am

you're my wonderwall- 24th6


:/ kept losing my balance today. &my pirouettes were horrible

I'm such an embarrassment.

ever since _, I've been eating&eating&eating. its like I'm obessessed with junkfood.
and today when I put on my leotard, was kinda :/ luh.

I'm terribly jealous of two girls in my class luh. cause its like, they have a whole range of GORGEOUS leotards. &skirt. &.&
and every week, its something different from us. when the rest of us are wearing pink, they're wearing black or blue. talk about standing out. LALALA.

I forgot to bring socks today. so i had to suffer the consequences T.T
I'm just lucky I didn get blisters or anything.

eschappe.

bleugh. one more day to school. _give me courage.

0448

LOL. kor got banned again. his new account was Osamaz. So when he got banned, gm was like: Osamaz is banned for flying without an aeroplane

 aiyo. so suay got caught again. furthermore, I was the one who encouraged him to hack at maple island.

whhooops. =x

I remembered how he was like: I cannot get banned again. No more IC number to use ler.

and besides, to reactivate banned accounts,have to pay a ridiculous sum of money. we're talking bout around hundred bucks

daylight robbery. =x

they're rich fellas, those asiasoft peeps. with all the Acash we bought etc.

aurgh. T.T i wanna see my guild's response when they learn that their leader just got banned again.

omg lah. ><

ohkay. I'm so looking forward to next week.
cause Ayumi [well, its pronounced that way luh.] was wearing this reallyreally cute white jacket and I was going gaga over it. and dionne was like: urh, go anywhere also can buy leh. I got extra, I sell to you bah.

wheeee. =)

aurggh. I'm gonna have nightmares tonight. weijie just sent me this disturbing video &there was this bunch of girls bullying another girl. I'm gonna spare everyone the details-partly cause I dont wanna think about it anymore. its too scary. cause its real.

exposed.
just like how I was then.

a million pairs of eyes&those of your's
piercing me, there's no diff
&I cant forget everytoucheverykiss
I cant forget
nor can I forgive
you + me
a mistake
mymistake
given up&i'll never reminisce
give me a way of
getting over this
 over everything
over
what you did to me.

 1001pm
cant stand them. period- 23rd6


I'm so very suay today.
._.

filming duties were left to me since KK is still in HongKong. &mr already smsed me and said he would prepare everything.
then we went to mdm to ask for the equips. and she was like so >< luh. I mean, we're doing a STTS. purely voluntary and everything. and there she was scolding us. >.>

feel the love, people.

I mean, what's with the hostility and everything? to err is human, to forgive divine mah.
and its the first time i'm making this mistake.
shuddershudders.
i do not envy KK's job. &i sure as hell wont want to take over when he's away ler.

&the moment I tried to escape out of the hall, I kena caught for skirt and shirt. -.-

and when lihwei handed me his camera, he was like "let me switch this on to idiot mode for you."
._.

anyways, loads of running around&everything. quite fun actually. though as usual, lots of people dodging and turning away and APing us.

yuanyuan&I were trying to avoid this cher on the 2nd lvl so we kept running around in circles just to avoid her. but then we suddenly lost her and she appeared next to us. scary lah, that cher. :/
like jian4 gui3 like that. ><

during lunch, we left our bags on the seat and when to buy our food and when we returned, we found that cher eating directly opposite our bags. T.T

the RV50 thing was very... =.= I managed to get a video of everyone throwing their caps and all. quite nice lah. the whole formation thing. but I could tell that everyone down there were like pissed off. especially ke lian de Sec2s. their V looked so Yish.

the view from physics lab3 is nice. got breeze and everything :D
but really luh. I got a major headache cause the wole school is like, so big and cramp.

yuanyuan saw a ghostly hand thing at the 3K classroom. thought it was reflection at first. but we realised that that wasnt possible since the ghostly hand was waving and all. and at that time, it was way too early for the sec3s to go back to their classrooms after the school tour. so :/

whheeee. I totally love the location of comlab1. its like soooo near to the gates&the toilets. and the lab itself has 3rooms! one for normal stuff, one room in which we decided should be wo men excos de di4 pan2 :D. and that room has got this large panel/window thing, so can see through to the next room.which is wayy cool. x)

then went back with tiffy&weisin. and took neos with em. hahas. I didn really expect they would lah. it was really the spurofthemoment kindathing.

cause the neoprint machine in JE is funnn! hahas. cant resist the temptation lala =x






and please DONT call me zhixinny

its a disgusting nick T.T
:/

homework! 2moredays to PIA.

the impossible~

i really gotta buck up though. I KNOW I CAN THIS TIME BECAUSE there are no more distractions ler.

but
i cannever forget the bittersweet taste you left in my mouth.
 0625pm

dont tell me that its overr- 22th6

andthese are tears of frustration.
 I'm not numb.
because these tears are real.
I'm not that empty
cause I can feel.

dont judge me.

malcolm just sent me MSNplus. which is really fun. =)
anyone who wants it msg me and I'll send it to you. hahas

or else, my nick will just be a bunch of weird codes to you. ._.

 0955pm


my tears are turning into time
I've wasted trying to find
a reason for goodbye

 <3

all I want is someone who cares.
all he wanted was sex

you dont know how much it hurts
to be treated like a toy.

i dont know how to be strong
when my life has to move on.

I can't live without you
Can't breath without you
I dream about you
Honestly tell me that it's over
Cause if the world is spinning and
I'm still living

It won't be right if we're not in it together
Tell me that it's over.

 its all over.

&i just gotta move on. =(

well, on a lighter note... :/
here's some pics from my 3rd job. hurhurs.
the first part; entered this really cool thingy. had a shock at first when I saw the timer.



._. that old man is irritating. because I didn have any holywater with me, and the old man kept spell-locking me, I was forced to go back to town to buy repot. :/
hmmmph.



the whole quest was rather easy though. I mean just aim at that old man lor. but the macis that he summoned all very the din tei luh. T.T
just glad I didn die :D

and its like when the macis came out, I couldnt even hang on the rope. =( hmmph. macis are horrible creatures. &my dmg sucks. T.T



yah lor. so frustrating. old man gone ler, still have to kill all those macis. T.T



everything within 9mins. not bad for a noob like me :D




second part; had to go to elnath to take the quiz. :D I cheated luh. as in, I went onto HiddenStreet using another com. hahas.




wheee 3rd job.

:D obviously, I'm taking the path of a Support Priest.

&im gonna slack off MS now. so _|_ off, yoo annoying leechers.

LAHLAHLAH.

kayy, i shall go back to my bleachEPISODE47 now. T.T

:/ and i will go back to chionging homework later.
I will der.

=x

and urhh to those who managed to the posts in the first part of June/what happened before 20thJune, just...
pretend it never happened kayy.

 forget, forgetting, forgotten

so please dont come to me anymore. cause I cant carry the burden of more people knowing what really happened.

its too much.
so take it while it last, cause it'll end.
 1140am.

I dont wanna be the reason why- 21th6


decided to lock the previous june entries for certain reasons.
if you wanna know the password, ask from me yourself.

something I should have done longlong ago. :/
>< aurrgh. i'm dumb.

1041pm

homework. :/

is making me sick.

rawwwh.

School Warming Day T.T
I'm not looking forward to the whole thing since I'll have to run around to film stuff. Think I have to bring Panadol on that day or something.
The whole place really gives me a headache. =(

I dont wanna go to schooool. gosh, I sound like some whiny brat. but its true.
LALALA.

whats there to look forward to? Common test > EOYS > O levels > A levels > whoknowswhatelse > work

and it'll only end when I die.

aurgh.

sweetrelease from this hellhole. T.T

I cant wait.

 maple's birthday today. ._.
andrew's right. they're stupid. patching on their own birthday. T.T

=( hmmph. I'm pissed cause i thought I'd get a free lvl today. apparently, that isnt happening.



the above evidence proves that GMs are indeed lame. like me. hahas
I dont know why people like, worship them. especially the Blokus guy. LALALA.



I found 2 maple items ler. &the lama staff courtesy of my sugarrush :D





worldcupfever~
has struck ms too.

:/

dont keep telling me these words, you dont know how much it hurts.

&now I just gotta be satisfied with watching Bleach on youtube.
since there's nothing nice to do.

LALA. I'm the kinda person who wont do something unless I feel like it.
which is why I always end up chionging homework at the last minute.
I cant stand doing something that is pointless.
cause it'll just make me feel more empty.

and I'm
wasting my time away. doing absolutely nothing meaningful.

since there isnt anything meangingful to do.

='(

 cause some things just cant be forgotten.
I just wanna carry on and forget how foolish I was.

I just wanna bring you down so badly
in the worst way.

 emo songs are making me emo.

0545pm

The third flight.- 20th6


decided to go for more therapy today.
after all that has happened to me, I really needed to just let loose.

had a talk with his friend.
who warned me. a bit too late luh right.

But he did have a good point. Life's like that.

 trust too much, &you'll end up like me.

 its funny how I always tell people: trust no one but yourself
and I end up like that.

funny how I cant practise what I preach. =x

everyone's down with the worldcupfever.
I mean, its like my whole family is crazy over it and I'm the only one who isnt really into the whole thing.

like what di said: everyone's fighting to get the ball. and once they tycotyco get it, after all their hard work, THEY KICK IT AWAY.

I found that really amusing. Ohwells. soccer is like music =)

an unspoken language.

I'm just happy that everyone's down with this fever. cause then, the maple maps will be emptier.
and they wont know whether I'm using the com since they are practically glued to the tv.

ohkay I gotta admit, it is kinda entertaining. :/



3rd job. :D
guess that's the only highlight of my holis.
at least I achieved something.

zane got banned.
well, its about time too.
hacking like siao. that chiongster. hahas

in 9hrs, the results of his hack is equivalent to my results after 2months.

oh wells. add oil lah you.
and be more careful next time.

do whatever you want. just dont get caught.



&maybe I'll fly-

its freezing cold. outside.
 and the wind isnt really helping either.

[but] whattheheck.after the whole _ issue,

I just feel numb&empty.
 upon realising what they really want.

heard the Be My Valentine's song on the radio again.
last time, it used to be, well, a song that could actually make me laugh
now it just makes me kinda pissed.

:/

losing control is no excuse.

take for example, if you get a girl pregnant, &you said you simply "lost control"
you think the baby will just disappear?
you think the memories will just be gone
you think everytoucheverykiss could be so easily forgotten

well, fuck you.

 and thanks for trying to forget my existence after all you did.
that really made my day.

listen to my cold heartbeat
0435

SAJC gives me a headache.- 19th6


SAJC is big. well, its supposed to be big. but with all the plants and buldings
and slopes and everything...

its kinda cramp =/
well, I got a headache just by walking around the school.

I'm not exaggerating or anything,
but I really reckon I'd need a map to find my way when school reopens.
just to get used to the whole campus.

I dont really have a sense of direction you see. =/

I FEEL SO AUUUURGH.

I should be the one who dump you. not the other way round.
should have listened to leng. =(
I guess this is karma.

He actually had the nerve to tell leng that he didnt know my age cause he wasnt "CLOSE TO ME".

 emotionally, sure.

&he said that, at this age, "better not stead", "PLAYPLAY can ler"

WHATTHEFUCK.
after all he did to me. that jerk.

guys like him ought to suffer from STDs, die a sloooow, painful death and ROT IN HELL.

 aurgh. I feel like kicking something.

I mean, usually these kinda stuff only happens in books&movies. and because I was so naive, so foolish, I decided to give people the BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT.

goes to show how wrong I was.

 I'm just glad I didnt get the chance to fall in love with him. And I didnt give him more.
which isnt saying much since he fucking stole my first.

and I can nevernevernever have another first. not in this lifetime.

the whole thing was JUST AN EXCUSE to take advantage of me.
&now its all over. but the scars just wont fade.
and the memories remain.

sucks really.

*

went to carmen's house for mass mugging session.

leng, day, bx and chyiwei went to swim.
while I stayed dry &continued mugging. Since, the weather was freezing cold. and I didnt bring my swimsuit.

wheeeee. the only good thing about this holis is that its not my birthday and yet I still get prezzies.

hahas x)

yay. I love Dayy!

and then went to take neos at JE.

it was rather embarrassing really. since I borrowed a PMK teeshirt from bx, cause I really dont want to walk into JE in my uniform.

so I was stuck with PMKteeshirt, scool SHORTS,SOCKS and shoes.
._.

ohkayohkay. I know I sound so horribly boring today. at least credit me for trying to cheer up =/

 the neos:




aurghh.

I'm trying not to sound too emo.
and there's no point in trying to forget.
cause the more I try to forget, the more I remember.

and the memory becomes more vivid.

and real. &its as if I could almost taste it. feel it.

and then
worthless. empty. cheap. its all I feel.

you can take what's left of me
1030

> awakening.- 18th6


Well, I dont want it now either.

I mean almost everything ends up in tears.

I hate him for stealing my first.

I never thought I would give it to someone who treats me like a fucking toy. To someone who doesnt LOVE me.

I would give anything to TAKE IT ALL BACK.
losing faith. in men. in finding. in the whole 'love' thing.

cause I've learnt that only lust exists.

 only lust.
nothing else

everything is purely physical.
for me.

 sad, aint it. registering the fact. that all they want is to shag.

read beixin's blog and was rather touched.
<3

i promise you, I'll end it. I want to end it.
But I really dont know how.

I mean, it seems so cruel.

I know its stupid and everything, for me to continue caring about the feelings of some jerk who doesnt care about mine.

but that's just me.

sighs. school's reopening soon. hopefully I'll be able to concentrate.

I wanna be able to close my eyes and just think of HOMEWORK.
anything. but the taste of his lips.
anything. but his cold touch on my skin.
anything. but it.

and how foolish I've been.

I've been blogging about the same shit everyday. its killing me. how the whole _ is taking over my life. and ruining it.

and thanks so much for the tags. I'm kinda getting a lil paranoid about it though. =/
&worried.

like what if school reopens and ... I mean, rumours spread like wild fire in rvayy... and everyone misunderstands and think I'm a slut.

ohkay. someone slap me and bring me down.

I just need to breathe -
0530pm.

he loves me, he loves me not - 17th6


&I know he doesnt care at all. for me.

he doesnt love.

because I was just a one night stand.

maybe its better this way.
since we hardly talk. he'll ignore me. forget me.

and i can get back to my own life.

and forget that anything ever happened

 time will wash away the tears
but time will never wash away these scars.

0951am.

just came back from shopping&dinner. hahas.

I BELIEVE IN SHOPATHERAPY

bought this reallycute black mickey shirt. dont know why I'm suddenly obsessing over that lil' mouse. but oh wells. =x

It's like Mickey is suddenly in now. I keep seeing Mickey shirts. Mickey shoes. Mickey bags. Mickey pencilcases. Mickey Mickeyy.

OH MICKAYY, yoo'r so fine.
yoo'r so fine yoo blow my mind
HEY MICKAYY.

 you know its funny how you can wear clothes and feel fabulous one day, and cheap and slutty in the next.

 I'm over feeling sorry for myself. cause its pathetic. It's making me cheaper than cheap.

=/

I mean, it could have been worst right.
Like, I could have gotten _ or something. Boy, that'll suck.

its scary how things turn out sometimes.

and how it changed me.

like I can never look, feel, taste or smell things in the same perspective again. right, that didnt make any sense. but. its just...

aurgh.

maybe if I close my eyes,
this feeling will leave me
maybe if I close my eyes,
and believe its just a dream.

maybe if I close my eyes
I will forget
maybe if I close my eyes
maybe I could try.

I can get over this because I'm strong.

&I'm just gonna concentrate on school and everything else.
and learn from my lesson.

serves me right.

0923

the repercussions - 16th6


&I doubt a million showers can wash away this feeling.
Leng is right. I must learn to hate, for its too dangerous to fall in love with him.

purely physical. and its confusing me. I dont know what they see in me. I am a horrible person. I lie, I have a short temper... and I'm not exactly attractive.

irregardless, I shall learn to hate. fling, before I get flinged. hurt, before I get hurt. Physically, emotionally.

I'm already destroyed.

Is this what relationships are meant to be like?

How can something so right feel so wrong? How can every touch every kiss, make you feel like you're in heaven, yet make you feel cheap, dirty, worthless... I feel like a whore

but leng's words did knock some sense into me: save it for Mr.Right
even if he's nonexistant.

I did sleep, and thank goodness. but not very well. I woke up in cold sweat and my eyes were moist.

and the shower didnt help. I'm just trying to think of anything. anything to occupy my mind. and forget about everything. anything to forget everything.

and trying on my clothes just made me felt worst. I feel like a slut. Dirtier than dirt. Disgusting.

I dont know how I'm gonna pull through the day. Literature workshop today. Meeting the Limies at Somerset. Everyone's gonna wear jeans. Sounds to me like a rebellion of some sort =/

I dont really feel like it today. I mean, jeans are supposed to be tight.

I think I'm going mad.

2J BBQ later on. Well, I hope that that will make me forget about everything that has happened.

I get the feeling that once I step outside, I'll get paranoid all over again. And everyone will know. Cause its like, I'm exposed. And they can see. And no one will ever respect.

no one will ever respect this whore.
0823am.

learn - theyesterday



I should have listened to beixin. I should have listened to my senior.

there's no point crying over something that cannot be undone. for I cannot erase the memory.

for there's no cure for my tormented mind. the feeling I feel over me - its not something that'll go away soon

but I have only myself to blame.

its not _ when both are willing, you see.


now I made the mistake.
I'm past the point of no return
so keep my dirrtay lil secret.
&I promise I'll learn.

no one to know
this skeleton in my cupboard.
no one has to see
what a fool I made out of me.

so it'll be our lil secret.
it stays between you and me
no one has to find out
no one will ever see.

i beg of you. I'll do anything. just dont tell.

if anything goes wrong and they know. for some reason they find out. for some reason others find out, I really have no choice but to end this.

my life's way screwed up for me to untangle it all anyway.

so worst come to worst, I'll end this. clean and simple.

I have no more regrets.

0157pm.

I mean what if I really did enjoy being loved.
I was never loved this way before.

I mean, its not as though I'm breaking any law right.

or am I

I dont wanna think. feel.

perhaps I shpuld just ignore everything and just... focus my energy on homework. T.T 0548pm

and its great really. by the end of the month, everyone will be pissed or disappointed or cant be bothered with me.

its just great how things turn out.

it sounds old, but at this point of time, I hate me.

&i hate the way i feel. and think.

someone just stuff my brains with goo.

and shoot me.

leave me there to bleed.

 0604pm

And i'm itching all over.
i feel as though a thousand roaches are all over me. and I dunno. I feel scared. I feel cold.

I dont dare to close my eyes.

I'm exhausted. but I cant sleep. Lest the memories come flooding back.

And I think I must be crazy to think that I enjoyed it. but what can i do.

i have only myself to blame.

i feel like breaking down and just ... its stupid to get all emo and stuff. =/

but she was right.

I'm destroyed.

1038

Weird tanlines are a nightmare- 14thof6



I have a horrible looking tanline. Now I really regretted not wearing proper beachwear.

WHY OOOOHHH WHY. *bangs head on table*

I look like a freak with my tanline. auuuurgh. T.T

the outing was tiring. alot of things were rather screwed. alot of unhappy people. =/

I'd rather not talk about it ><

the good news is, yours truly has definitely lost weight from the experience.

went to je for dinner. and imagine this, 9+ rvcc people squeezed in a neoprint machine. yepp.

it took so much effort just to even get them to walk into the neoprint shop lah. cause the color pink was scaring them. =/

played with the fire, got myself burnt
but still have not learnt my own lesson.

my mind's screaming out to me that the whole thing is WRONGWRONGWRONG. beixin is right. &I know I'm right.

but I dont have the heart to say no.

so what's worse than me PMSing.
well, people PMSing me lo.

lately, nothing seems to be going right. I've made countless of people pissed on at me... I mean, I really didnt mean what I say. I'm sorry cause I didnt know guys can be so bloodayy sensitive.

and everyone's angry at me... etcetc.

and I just know everyone WILL HATE ME for my decision. but I mean... you'll never know till you find out right?

and as quote from snr, "life is about taking risk"

&I shall take one now

I mean... I shouldnt let myself like... just cause of prejudice... and..

ohkay fine. I admit that I just screwed up my life bigtime.

I dunno luh. I just wanna forget my screwed up holiday. and just sleep on it.

i mean, in arranged marriages, the principle is the same also luh. so... &i've gotta learn to give time. learn. be openminded. and love.
<3

0954

Screwing up- 13thof6



Left the computer yesterday feeling extremly bitter &full of pain.

Then today, went for therapy. To take it all away -

Realised last minute that tomorrow was RVCC outing. then had to call up the sec ones to ask who's going and everything. For the first time, I realised how hard it was. to get people together.

its frustrating. depressing. that they have absolutely no faith whatsoever in this regime.

 encouragement? bleugh.

feel like kicking something -hard.

&here I am trying so hard to convince myself that I would have a great time tomorrow. I mean, its the beach after all.

!I'm gonna have the hell of a time regardless on the amount of people going.
&how this is so totally gonna screw up our plans for the day. since everything depends on the number of people going.

I mean, all my fav people arent gonna be there. ruffles, kk, kp, zx... =/

no one to stick to.

on a lighter note, here are the neos from yesterday.





&jx is helping me train. thankiewthankiewthankiews! 3rd job at last &.&.

I feel like hugging something!

and almost everyone else is feel dead. lost. confused. pressurized. on the verge on breaking down
because of our homework. enough is enough.

=/

so dead.

chatting with my contacts just now just seemed to make my day worst. as in, I either annoy people, unintentionally of course, or they annoy me.

more of the latter though.

_ got all sensitive after I called him siao. which is true. that no life-r.


I may be the pot calling the kettle black. but ... ... he annoys me.
end of sentence.



with all his PMs and demands. !he actually had the nerve to ask me to write a testimo about something positive about him. Like, WHAT.

I dont _|_ care how many friends you have in the game. cause its just a freaking game. get over yourself.


well, guess what, _|_ to yoo too.
so what happened during therapy today?

well, ryu _______.

in a rather cute way. as in he CAPS everything. =x

that's something to look forward to right. =D

 then there's this mathmaniac thing. which is crap. cause all we do there is lag like shyt.

here's to a better tomorrow. T.T
 &the tears that I've tasted is nothing, to the years that I've wasted.

 1033pm

Stomach cramps cant bring me down- 12thof6



wheeeee! went to ESPLANADE LIBRARY to MUG. yea. Mugged for like 3 hours.

so effing long yet it seemed like we didnt even started.
its impossible to finish everything-

I'd rather go back to school a few times a week than to finish. Cause lets face it, I'm a slacker&a procrastinator. There's no way in hell I can push myself. I'm not motivated.

at least when I'm in school, will feel more stressed and pressurized to study.

in a warped way, I like it.

=/

Right. So anyway, went to Cineleisure for lunch and neoprints. (: Then went to catch SHE'S THE MAN.

ohkkays. that show totally made my day. xD

LIKE, THE SHOW STARTS, AND GUESS WHAT PLAYS.

THE FADERS- NO SLP TONIGHT.

x) yeapp. and unlike other chickflicks, its actually hilarious.

when Dirtayy lil' secret and Move Along blasted out, Carmen, Wanleng and I were like singing at the top of our lungs. like siao lah. x)

hahas felt so high!

I think chyiwei was probably like; I dont know them, I dont know them. hahas.

OMG LAH. its like a dream come come true. I mean, to see typical fictionpress/fanfiction storyline on screen. that's just. &.&. magical.

x)

Went to Kbox after that. Then sang our hearts out- woooooots.

learnt that sleep can help reduce the pain of stomach cramps. its the falling asleep part that's hard.

ENDUREENDURE. YOU SHANT BRING ME DOWN YOU EVIL CRAMPS.

of all dayys. T.T

from the movie till now. =/

bought two really booootiful shirts from leng. hahas. there was one really cool white, very see-through off shoulder one. At first, I thought it would be great for beachwear. As in I'd wear a bikini inside. The one leng wanted to sell:



But then, if it was a Limelighters outing, it would be totally cool. I mean its rvcc outing after all. =/ it would be TOTALLY WEIRD AND INAPPROPRIATE. yepp.

Secondly, though leng said it looked ohkay on me, the bikini still suited chyiwei cause she could fill it out. =( unlike us.

lala~ its like, I can wear lah. but like so much T.T that I cant fill it out. even leng cant fill it out. I doubt even dayy can fill it out LOL. since chyiwei was complaining that its still a bit big.

ah wells. =(

cant help it. i'm flat.


I mean seriously, this is getting bad.
I mean I havent thought of piercings ever since this year.

before you know it, I'd probably be on drugs ><

cant help it. i'm a guai kia lah. x)

and my stupid annoying conscious just bloody leave me alone. TODAY'S MOON IS SOOOO BOOOOTIFUL! x)

lala! But I'm not sure whether its the moon or not. since it was so round and so big and so bright =/

it did remind me of this Shakespeare quote:

Arise,
fair sun,
and kill the envious moon,
Who is already sick and pale with grief
That thou her maid art far more fair than she.

beautiful. just like the pathway from Citylink to esplanade. Like the wall was painted black and there was hot pink light shone from above to give the gradient... then the sensual pictures& words.

=/ carmen complained that I keep thinking dirtayy today. not my fault. must be the bad influence from my friends. hahas.

first was the silentHill magazine thing. where I read that the director's _ was actually bigger than a tennis ball can or something. then found it rather interesting. seems like Rasputin has a competitor ler. =x

then was this poster which was advertising this show. Which was rated M18. actually, I was just looking at my reflection cause my jeans were riding embarrassingly low &all.
then got misunderstood =(

LIFE IS PLASTIC, ITS FANTASTIC.

0935pm
everybody wants to know her name- 11thof6



mugmugmugg-ed the whole day.
well, at least pretended to.

felt like I was cheating or something. cause almost everyone was under the impression that I was ultra hardworking today.

I seriously have no idea whether to be ashamed of myself or be proud -

cause I managed to fool them yet again.

I WANNA DANCE AND GO LALA IN THE RAIN.
i'm feeling rather impulsive today. =/

&I WANNA WATCH A MOVIE. SO SOMEONE ASK ME OUT.

kayy this is just depressing. I havent watched a movie in eons. And the people who ask me out always end up busy on that day or something.

ohkay hmph.

and then I'll end up infront of the computer, wasting my time away, listening to emo songs. =/

heyy! leng just asked me out x))




=/



OHKAY I'VE DECIDED I SHALL GO OUT TOMORROW. AND IGNORE FREEZINGCOOL ><.

and I guess the ss-taking session tomorrow will be postponed -cause of me again. lols.

&i'll go out tomorrow. cause staying at home is stupid. staying infront of the com the whole day is stupid. yepp. it is. And I'm gonna go out, with no regrets.

aurgh. I sound like I'm trying to convince myself.

_|_ them and that stupid therapy thing.

0947

A hangover I dont deserve - 10thof6



sorrow in my soul-

I just get that urge to hit or kick something these few days.

yepp. I'm screwed.

&like a heart attack, I know I cant turn back -

some holiday >.>

FROM THE SKY SHE PULLED ME DOWN TONIGHT.
we came down to watch the world walk by-

 I'm feeling: ._.

I wanna: WATCH A MOVIE the last time I watched a movie was like 3months?! pathetic, I know.

I've just: won the war all's fair in love&war, jiawei. dont be such a sore loser. face it, Dayy loves me more than she loves yoooo xP &DONT YOU GO SEDUCING MY KASHUU NUT!

Listening to: ROUGHLANDINGHOLLY.

Feel like: DANCING IN THE MOONLIGHT; everybody's dancing in the moonlight~

Craving for: Apple Strudel

Confused over: _

Most worried about: DesignPROJECTs, PROJECT&HOMEWORK

Current goal: 3rd job aft holidays bah. because unlike others I have a life. >< &also cause maple's more of therapy for me.

 Weird-est thing that happened to me recently: the fan just switched off by itself ><

Dying for: IPOD!

Hesitating over: the offer to go _

Smiling over: my victory. I HAVE WON THE WAR wakekeke

Line that's stuck in my head: you're just saying the words =/ I cant help it! ITS PERMANANTLY STUCK THERE~
I'm missing: WINNIFRED! ='(

If I had one wish now: FOR ALL MY HOMEWORK AND PROJECTS TO BE AUTOMATICALLY DONE. T.T

If I were to die now, my last words would be: tell FC to fuck off =/

Last thing I did before blogging: answering Day's sms. she's goneeee too.

Wants to apologise to: Winnifred. cause I was really tired yesterday then didnt fill her in& all.

What's the most interesting convo I'm having now:

omgg !!!~ says:
ORHHOR
omgg !!!~ says:
GOT LES PARTNER
omgg !!!~ says:
FORGOT UR NUT LIAO WORR
omgg !!!~ says:
u better nt forget me nxt time or else u die (:
A c r y licstains_ says:
I NVR FORGET MY NUT!
A c r y licstains_ says:
IM TWOTIMING!
A c r y licstains_ says
x)
A c r y licstains_ says:
u better keep my secret or else u die (:
omgg !!!~ says:
..
omgg !!!~ says:
haizz nvr knew zhixin was such a play gal
omgg !!!~ says: i go tell kura bout it ..
omgg !!!~ says:
hmm
A c r y licstains_ says:
^kicks jw^
A c r y licstains_ says:
&he shall forever be ranked in guild as AHGONG.

Last sms: 'dont miss me too much' or something. From Day ._.

Satisfied over: MYBLOGSKIN. =]

Wants _ to come online: SEAFOOOD.

Looking forward to: 3rd job.

Not looking forward to: school reopening. ._.

favourite song at the moment: Unfaithful

secretly wants to: kill jw. cause he's trying to overthrow my current position of top bootes player in class. =( &killing _ and _ for being such cats

 my worst quality: DISHONESTY! x)

DRAINED DRY;0936pathetic.

dancing in the rain - 9thof6


1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18 and find line 4.
._. ... sore. His light swooped over the dark lot trying to.

2. Stretch out your left arm as far as you can.
touches my mickey bag~

3. What's the last thing you watched on TV?
CSI bah.

4. Without looking at the clock, guess what it is?
12.35

5. Now look at the clock, what's the actual time?
11.54

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
silence

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
urh. just came back 30mins ago. 3L bbq.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
pictures from the bbq :D

9. What are you wearing?
tee + shorts.

10. Did you dream last night?
hardly.

11. When did you last laugh?
when zhuyi sang =/

 12. What's on the wall of the room you're in?
some painting.

13. Seen anything weird lately?
kinda. the pictures~ turned out weird. for the last 3.

14. What do you think of this quiz?
=/

15. What's the last film you saw?
T.T

16. If you become multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Clothes, shoes, bag, maplecard =), cds, movie tickets... x)

 17. Tell me something about you that I don't know
I like the rain. I dont care if you already know that xP

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
nothing.

19.Do you like to dance?
love it to death. <3

20. George Bush. What about him?
what about him =/

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Faith ><

22. now, a boy?
Chronos. =]]

23.Would you ever consider living abroad?
yepp xD

24. 4 people who must do this meme in their journal.
meme? anyone lah. >.>

3L BBQ!
bought stuff at Giant then went swimming! yah.
dayy's jealous cause chyiwei's got bigger _ than her =P

sadded. cause swam awhile only, leg cramp like siao

=/

wheee. The attendance was quite poor, it drizzled for quite a while, but at least the class spirit there did not really falter lah. =]

OMG SO MANY PICTURES.

see! I so late still edit them and blog. shows how much I lurve yoo guys lah rite. =/

some les pics with DAYY.

pull me close sugarr



yah. if you're reading this dayy, here you go:


hope you happy ler. >.> lala!



jiawei actually thought dayy was smoking - ._.



Jiahui takes the longest time to comb/style her hair. yupp.


wetwet hairr~




we depended on the handphones for entertainment - as in the songs. hahas.



MR LEE CAME! w/o his fiance. but still. he brought loads of Pringles for us :D


Pringles are nice. =]]


everyone goes back for more x)


beixin being high again-


MR LEE& us!


zhuyi said that jiawei looked chio =/


sponge abusing sponge.


we did warn that we wouldd 'rock @Parc Oasis'


&we did =]


for some reason, this pic gives me the creeps.


carmen's house!


see! huiyi&kar hui so helpful; Leena & Beixin trying to rush to get into the picture =P.


wouldnt it be nice if the world was cadbury-
chocolate for marshmallows x)


getting ready to melt the chocolate! Its in that plastic cup =x


dayy left so early. =( hmph.


A picture of beixin trying to get a picture of FOOD!


Pringles courtesy of MRLIM!


Huiyi so wei da, went to do the chicken thingy. yah. she's the only one cause nobody else wanted that job <3


then MUO LAO SHI came!


yayy! we gan shou dao ler`x


chunchi choking at the sight? =x


&the drizzle failed to dampen our spirit-


beixin so high tdae. xD


muo lao shi played a big role in the BBQ. =x


yah. she was very concerned with the chickens =/


spastic, blurr shot ><


Leena refusing to let go of Chunchi. Huiyi >> to the rescue ! xD



the guys gaying around~


=P try harder next time.


I find this spontaneous photo rather cool =]




then we played truth or dare near the pool!
&when we chose truth, Leena would keep asking: do you love me? or you hate me? yah. something along that line

so huiyi decided to give her the truth-
=x


&kaiting came! she didnt do that well for her recital/rehearsal thing. =(
nevermind kayy. you can der. must jiayou next time kayy.




WHEE. class photos. well, not quite. but. =/

the last one was rather problematic. as in nothing came out but the 'No diving' thing at the bridge. This is the result after Photoshop. rather ugly. but ohwells. ><

kayy. I'm tired. =(

those who want the pics - I suggest you pass me a thumbdrive. =/

Also, please dont judge me from the way I look in the pictures. Cause it can be quite misleading.
Like, how I look different in every pic. Which is freaky. &creepy. ><

aurrgh.

loads of people are probably watching the world cup now. =/

work so hard just to get it. &kick it away in the end-

you're right. its kinda pointless

0222am



sing a sad song just to turn it around-

wheee. its raining in the morning!

woke up because of that pissifying _

really. I think its high time I take a break from that game and go back to homework, mugging and myDESIGNprojects&favours.

cause that game is filled with crazy people &I always seem to meet the worst of people. I mean, sure, I dont deny that there are some really nice people in there... but that _ is reallyreally getting on my nerves. &those annoying anonymous phonecalls as well. >.>

If you lurve me so much, you'll should know better than to piss me off. If you hate me so much, come out and settle it like a man. Or bitch. whatever.

I hate .cats

><

thinking of them makes me feel like kicking something. and hard.

lala! ohkay I shall not let this ruin my mood. For it is RAINING!
xD

rain outside my window pouring down
what now, you're gone, my fault, I'm sorry.
feeling like a fool cause I let you down
now its too late to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I've made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
you made it clear when you said
I just dont love you no more.

Ohkay, I'm not singing that because I feel emo, but cause the rain always reminds me of this song. wheee

raindrops keep falling on my head~

remember that time, it was raining sososo heavily and beixin and I didn bring umbrellas and we had to walk in the rain. It was quite fun actually. 'cept for the fact that the rain go EVENHEAVIER and everything turned out tootoottoot
hurhurs.

aurghs. my seniors are complaining about how vulgur I am in my blog and how different I am in rl. Cause everyone says I dont look like I'll swear. Kayy, I dont swear in real life - much. =/

I'll try to tone down anyways. lala! see, the rain brings out the better side of me!. anyways, even if I do swear in rl, people will just laugh at the way I say it. >.>

weird. buaix.

=/ but I do hope the rain will stop soon. or else we cant swim later on. =/ or start a fire.

I think the girls are probably planning to drink vodka and all. =x

whatever. Its gonna be SUPERFUN. cause MRLEE&fiance and MOLASHI [ooo, moo-la-shii lol] are coming >=D

I'll blog about it after that at night if its early. =/

yea. changed the blog's song. Cause Break It Off is starting to sound irritating.
So I decided to have a song more that has more sentimental value. yepp.

It's I Do by Rain.

I'm not a bigbig fan &all but, But I Love You and I Do really meant alot to me. Because of the people who introduced the song to me.

So anyways, I heart this song loads&loads&loads cause... =/

_ gave me a testimonial with the rose below and then sent me this song. yah. but ever since that he hasnt come online >=(
hmmph.
I do I do... &thereIgo being all emo A L L O V E R AGAIN-

 wanna spentmylife w i t h y o o -

sugarr. ><

0914drizzle

something wicked this way comes - 8thof6

>=)

wheeee! new skin new skin!

why suddenly change?

well first, the prev one sucks. secondly, i just finished returning HB the favour I owe her. yah. which is making her blogskin, in xchange for pei-ing me the other day.

and so. when I was done with it. after crediting myself, I realised nobody would believe that I made her blogskin cause mine too fugly.

yah. so decided to change. =)

wooots. I lurve how people see the 1st part, think its gonna be PINKPINKPINK but then when they scroll down, everything turns all emo. >=D

wakekekeke.

yah. the tagboard... well, the host is down. So everyone, please bear with more pink for awhile :D

woots. threatened jiawei just now. =/ cause I'm feeling extremely high and childish today.
as in I lowered his guild rank to AHGONG xD [guild ranks, from bottom: Fallens, AHGONG, Mortals, Angels, Avenger]
I know its lame&all. but whatever.

why got special, xtra rank called ahgong? =D... cause ahgong is in my guild, so i decided to give ahgong special rank.

lols nvm.

anyway, carried out the promise I made 2 entries ago &lowered jiawei's rank as well as threatening him :D

make sure he goes class bbq and get drunk from vodka. yah. =]]

heehees.

so 1 favour down, so many more to go.

not forgetting the one yesterday, when i asked will to go into my maple acc to move my char for me.

=/

one per day.

that's a scary thought.

><

per day. per hour. per minute.

per minute...

can you imagine someone who smses 9sms per minute? I mean sure, if they're smses abt something... ohkay... but not if they're nonsense.

when u can online u sms me k?
u about evening can online? I online le i sms u?
 ar? cannot understand...
awww...
jiejie, I need pei my mummy go temple...boring...
i online now

etcetc

as in.. these werent the ones that were sent within one minute. those I deleted.

I dunno. But I'm the kind of person that cannot tolerate ... this kinda crap lah.

not when my phone bill gna bao and I may have ta say buhbye to my darling phone next month.

and some wuliao person likes to call me and hang up right after hello.

><

Its very ><

because I was seriously damn effing lucky. =/ then now, they wna change too.

I mean, its ohkay if its my sugarrush, I dont mind.

as in. dont they get it? they're girls aft all.

as in why say I'm scared that you will .cat me? I mean, you're already doing it. LOL. duh. ._.U

I mean its the same reason why some of the girls are pissed at _.

if i see it first, its mine. you see it later, &you get it, you're a .cat ler

unfair? prolly. but this is the way things work.

that's why shopping is scary. we see the things we like, we'd better buy it first. or we'll prolly never have the chance to get it.

and that's why its so hard lah. to get something.

LIKE REMEMBER HOW... my supergorgeous mickey bag from bugis street? yah. I saw some punk wannabe carrying it in heeren. and HB said her cousin got it.

T.T

someone stab me.

 1151 nomorecallstoday.

when everything falls down - 7thof6

It started out as a fool-proof plan.

then it became a disaster.

decided to let zhirui maple today. since she was asking me to let her yesterday. then my busybody aunt [she took a leave for the whole week. bummer T.T] went to see what zhirui was doing despite zhirui alr telling her not to lah. that busybody. then scolded zhirui like shyt. then scold me also.

then went back to her cheesy romance novels. cause that's the closest she can get to smtg good.

that deprived bitch.

and she's gna tattletale to my parents. that bitch. as if what I do is any of her business.

she's like so fucking _ lah. its no wonder she cant get married. given her bitchy attitude and all.

fuck her.

 &all she found was trouble in my eyes.

here's what I'll predict will happen : total invasion of my privacy.

confiscating my hp. locking the com...

oh wait. there's fucking nothing else they can like take away from me because there's alr NOTHING ELSE. locking the com itself is alr like. godknowsIcantsurvivewithoutthecom. so its goodbye design projects, blog, friendster, on9friends, msn, MYMUSIC.

fucking hell. my MUSIC.

T.T

yea. and the list goes on.

its not just a trivial matter.

=/

haiish. i wanna HUGSOMETHING.

for there's nth else to live for in this hell-hole. its stupid,childish&silly. everyonethinks its just a game. and im a crazyfor kicking up such a big fuss.

 yea, right lah.

>.>

but they will never understand the consequences. they will never understand.

the best option - will not solve my problem. butatleastIcanfinallyfinally.breathe.

because the truth is. its not just a game. if they find out. whativebeendoingallalong. whereIvebeengoing.
thegameisjustaformofcommunication. butwhentheyfindoutwho ivebeencommunicatingwith. im basically like doomed?

and there goes everything else.

wheneverythingfallsdown, hold my hand, and maybe i'll p u l l t h r o u g h - 1231pm
6th of 6 of 2006


buuuaix

i know i havent update forrr a looong time. =x

too many stuffs. i havent JUST BEEN MAPLING. >< sure, I'm chionging for 3rd job now, but rest assured that I'm not OVERLYOBSESSED like last time =x

&at least Im quite close to my target. lvl 66 xD I aim to beat that bitch in class.

:D

,b>hmm, first off, requests for any design projects is currently closed ler. yah. TOO MANY DESIGN PROJECTS FOR TIS MONTH LER.
and I cant handle it all.

seriously, I'm not even good. T.T

secondly, to all my dearrrest various project group members: we need to start work. now.

lastly, to those who asked me out. sorry peeps. =/ I really couldnt make it. haiish. if only I can be at two places at the same time LOL.

but I have a responsibility now. it may be just a SUB.but its still SOMETHING.
andbesides, having them call you up and plead for you to go on... well, kinda hard to resist after a while =/

 but I promise that after this week, I'll make sure that nothing comes between me and my social life.

=x

buaiix.

 yepps. pierced my ears last week. dunno what made me do it. =/

hurhurs. yesterday was kinda scary.

blind date -again.

and hb was kinda ... unhappy? yepp. pissed. very. yah.

cause I dragged her along. and well, she found it a waste of her afternoon time. cause we walked from plaza singapura, to cineleisure [saw her snrs, bt for certain reasons, we didn say hi], then back to plaza sing, then heeren again. DOTSDOTS.

yah. she got blisters =x

when we were in the arcade, hb managed to get xianghui and jasmine to pei us. =x then they taught we called reinforcements to picked a fight or something. so they went off. yah. Hb reckons xianghui scared them off CAUSE HE's LIKE TALLLLLLLL. and cause he looked like a '20yr old uncle' in his polo tee. LOL.

=x

they mistook him for hb's stead. and they thought he bushuang them for making his 'stead' unhappy or something =/

took neos with them. I damn xtra though. =/

tired. >< missed my appointment also. rawhh~.

yepp. and im officially broke.

HOMEWORK! omg homework T.T

procrastination is the thief of time, that's what I tell myself every holiday. but in the end, everything will still be done last minute auuurgh.

cant stand this. KEEP YOUR PROMISES LUH. T.T

mapled! haha. duh. must make use of the time. =x yah. everyone thinks I'm siao. well, mei ban fa lah. =]]

P.S. Zane is siao-er.

yah.

><

got fed up with _, that meanmean girl.

I think calling her bitch is a bit too far lah. &my feelings were kinda hurt... ...

whatever, but at least I still have my sugarrush. =x

right. some ss:



marriages can change people -
how true. yea. and the FROZENSHOT guy who said WAH is jiawei. lol. so extra ><

hmmmph. he spoilt a near-perfect pictureee. hmmphs.

i shall go lower his guild rank later =]





:]] yoo get me so excited, and I cant fake it, you make me blush, you're my sugarrrush.



just some lame crap I came up with on 21st of may.><

&as you may have noticed, Holysaints has finally got its emblem. ^^ woooots.

I made de leh! I made de! xD

its nice to know that some people do keep their promises~

united we stand, divided we fall
 &since you've been gone,
we're still strong
we dont need you
not anymore

telling lies
you've got the upperhand
fine, I'm inferior
just rub it in

I just dont get
what they see in you
your nice exterior
but I've seen it through

if that's what you want
I'll play with you
I'll let you go up
&then I'll sink you.
 1206