I dont know what possessed me to do it.
though, justin said 'possess' isnt a great word to use at this time of the month.
at least beixin and day thought it was ohkay
but still. bleuugh.
i hope it grows back fastfastfast.
like the whole day i felt so toot. and insecure. cause my hair is horrid and messy and toottoottoot. =( and I need a paper mask to hide behind.
zhen de mei you lian jian ren ler.
started the day with a hugehuge headache. had killer pe. and the headache wouldnt go away.
lit test was screwd. I did only 2 questions and neglected the first one. joy.
the rest of the day was effed up too. but at least now I feel better, after ranting.
thanks justin and weijie for listening. I mean, I know my problems are like rather small and well ...yeah. so thanks for being patient and helping.
I survived chem prac today =) im proud of myself ohkay. cause I understood what she was saying and all.
The day I manage to keep awake for the whole of mathematics lesson will be the day where... I dunno. But I'll really feel a sense of accomplishment on that day man.
like everyday, I really do try to stay awake for all lessons. but like , some things just. never works out the way you want to.
its kinda ironic really. Like they're wondering why we never speak up, never stand up for ourselves unless we're told/threatened to voice out.
I mean, if this is the kind of environment we're living in, the answer is like already there lor.
Sure, you all have our best interests at heart and so on so on so on so on blahblahblah discipline and all. yeahyeah, I know.
but yeah. like how I finally got my appetite this term. and I'm actually starting to eat breakfast and recess [insert sheepish smile hurhurhur, beixin knows the real reason why] and after today, its like, urh. there's no point. we should all be anorexic.
gogogo. like less is more. I mean I'm not pointing fingers, blaming anyone. but life is just so short. everything passes so quickly. you guys just want all our time. so might as well give up eating altogether man.
which I should lah. considering the amount of whipped cream I ate during the weekend. that drink is so good it should be considered sinful. ><
and and and. like how we know we'll just get toot back at if we try to stand up for ourselves. so its like, yeah. no point speaking up anymore.
better to keep stuff to ourselves. its safer that way.
I told you its screwd up here.
part of me is fighting this, but part of me is gone
gosh, i feel so overwhelmed.
&how I wish the night would never end. how i wish I could sleep on forever.
as cheesy as it may sound. but opening my eyes to face a new day, to take on new burdens, to watch everything snowball...
it gets tiring.
aurgh. I stopped waiting a long time ago. pretending/trying not to care isnt good enough. I need plan B.
and boo. I need to go back to work.
hello, Im the epitome of fugly.
1112pm
in the worst way - 30.7
pfft. i cut my hair short. its kinda screwd. and I kinda look like a mistake.
no regrets though. cause I lost the mood for my long hair. and besides, change is good
but still, my hair looks freaking screwd =(
*bangs head in frustration*
CIP today. blah it was reallyreally tiring and all. like walked the whole of Orchard. frm wisma to fareast to heeren to somewhere then back to heeren and bleugh... I dunno luh. leena and I walked around in circles.
it was kinda fun though. walking around in circles and talking to people.
cept when we accidentally entered beixin & huiyi's di pan. then they scolded us and shooed us away. T.T so hostile.
before everything I was wearing the mini I bought from chyiwei. and ohmans. it like turned out to be freaking short.
so I felt really insecure. weird though. cause I tried it on at home and I thought it was ohkay, still can tahan. but yeah like I keep having that feeling that its riding up and all and bleugh luh.
then when beixin saw it she was like: that skirt's really short on you. if you move abit up sure can see der
but thank god for her FBTs. ahahaha x) she sacrificed her modesty for me. <3 !
and we were in the jap restaurant for lunch and it was so empty. then beixin say what 7th month. so conclusion: the restaurant is empty, cause its full
=X
bleuugh. and then went for the CIP thing. the people-in-charge aka THE POSERS were quite _ this guy with a fake american accent, and BLUE CONTACTS was like: no minis.
arhwells. toottootoot. borrowed some rvian's skirt, returned beixin her FBT.
the girl also luh. like beixin thought she was eh... I dunno what she thought of her lah. just that she had this fake american accent too. then she talked to her mum in chinese. like so toottoottoot =O
oh bleugh. this better be worth it. =(
like =(
like boo. life is sucking the life out of me. ._.
the situation got out of hand-
1048
your words are memories but they burn - 28.7
ahaha. huiyi so cute!
below is a vid taken by shengda. who was messing around with my vidcam >:(
anyway -
So I guess we're back to us, oh cameraman, swing the focus
In case I lost my train of thought, where was it that we last left off?
Oh now I do recall, we were just getting to the part
Where the shock sets in, and the stomach acid finds a new way to make you get sick.
I hope you didn't expect that you'd get all of the attention.
Now let's not get selfish
Did you really think I’d let you kill this chorus?
<3 P!atd ahaha. P!atd is love man.
no literature test! wakeke. tyvm to our dear sec2s.
heard that teambuilding day was screwd up for them.
awww.
fell aslp during mathematics and woke up to mrs tay saying something about how its not fair that... something about history test.. and something about not being fair or something.
bah! I always sleep during her lessons. Like, everyday, I can tahan other subjects but I'll just always sleep when she starts to teach. like I always try my best to stay up and all. >:(
after that was chem pract. and i had this huge headache and so I screwd my chem prac up too. >>:(
like I was so blarrrdy careless and all luh. and I was just like aurgh aurgh aurgh kapowww boom CRASH! all the way.
hugs day! for being there for me after chem pract and all. &telling me like not to think about it all.
mmhmph. like I dont wanna sound emo but I'm already on the verge of falling apart. or i think I already am. the whole 9subjects+2cca thing is really eating me up.
like I'm already the lowest in class for Amath. and I'm positive I'm also lagging behind for physics and chem.
I dont need a common test to prove this.
aurgh i just need more time to breathe and just. like I dont even have the time to catch up.
like i was telling day, like the weekends are just too short. pfft. like why cant there be a 3days for weekends?
tomorrow's plan: dance to 11.30- 2pm. rv interact installation 2pm-5ish [?] piano 6.30 bah.
sunday's plan:
school pocketmoney fund thingy whole aftnn.
kaboom. like there goes my weekend >=(
and not forgetting finishing up the rvinfocomm club tee, rv interact club blogskin, wini's ncc's music vid, njrc blackjournalthing. and yeah, usual pile of homework blahblahblah.
like this is so "awful and depressing" < thats from one of the SS assignment. I do until I can memorise the quote liao.
[[ like hey! mr lim! i'm so guai can. I handed in ALL THE ASSIGNMENTS you asked us to do today leh. :( so dont say bad stuff about me to GNGZX.A or anyone lah hahahaha.
yeah. saw mrlim on bus100. then he was saying how what me and GNGZX.A should get together or something. then they debated and GNGZX.A &i were like telling him about how wrong that was.
like ew. >>:( the only reason why GNGZX.A was with me was cause we are hao peng you as huipeng so nicely puts it. that his job is my job, my job is his. and besides, he's in charge of all the blingbling, so thats why must follow me. not cause he has to protect me luhhh. ]]
oh bleugh.
and ahaha! joseph is so cute luh. like he gave me ANOTHER PACKET OF MENTOS! <3! ahaha.
then the whole time he was tryin to find out what fh and i were tryin to do. like we were looking at this page talking about a dam. and he was like, hey I know you're making a dam. like duh. lol.
and like he was camwhoring/vidwhoring and he's so CUTE LAH LOL. with his cheesy smile ahahahahaa rotfl.
eh. then was like the back lab was empty and all and lihwei had the chinese listening compre olvls thing playing and I was alone in the room and it was like so damn scary luh. i mean the 7th month and all ahaha ><
and like JL's effingthings up in his class blog again. >:( like that guy cant even win an argument. and he thinks he's the messiah of RVCC.
&he critisizes just about everyone. like us excos, ex-excos and even the ex-ex-pres. like bleugh.
like hey, who died and made u king.
>:(
its a king that we put up there
and he has a short way to fall from grace
*
with you gone its so hard to move on-
1000pm
kisskissfallin lourve - 27.7
today was so toot.
like we had to write zuowen. then we had PHYSICS SPA. then AMC. then SS test. like toot toot toot.
zuowen was ohkay since I was like prepared. it was PHYSICS SPA that killed me, leaving me horrifed, mortified, demoralised, petrified, terrified etcetc
:x like all the -ieds luh. lololo :'(
it was really screwed up. like the cher was walking past me and everything. like I'm not paranoid kay, I know my experiment was screwd. so basically when she looked at me I know I was screwd. then she told me i screwd up.
like she was staring at it for an awwfullyyy loooonnng time. then she was like : does it look like the diagram we gave yoo?
&inwardly I was like uh-oh oh nononono im too young to die :(
yeah. then spent the whole 1hr just trying to get the whole experiment right, to no avail. im failing physics spa. :(
and and and its like 1hr and I didnt even touch the graph, like Im so dead when I go for skill two lah.
and they say what physics spa will affect your o lvl and blahblahblah lah. so die lor. screwd screwd screwwwwddd. :(
and everyone was telling everyone else how darn easy physics SPAs are so I felt really frustrated with myself. LIKE WHY CANT COMMON SENSE BE COMMON. and why these sort of stuff comes so naturally/easily to others and I just like screw up.
pfft.
AMC was bleugh as usual. I left 9qn undone. which is an accomplishment ohkay, though I .cat 2 qns ;)
then slept the whole way through. which was good. cause AMC was straight after Physics SPA so I was still feeling on the verge of tooting. mmm.. then SS! oh xD
like we got SIR to invigilate. x)
wahaha. like he damn funny lah.
sir: like how many chio people are there in rv, like me this zu1 gan3 can beat 60% of the population ler
then tomorrow you'll see my big poster with alot of darts on my face ^^
zhuyi: your daughter very chio right sir: yah. stay away from her... ... ...
you got see my daughter before meh?
the class: yah. your laptop etcetcetc...
sir: orh. that one. back when she was just a SMALL THING
dont worry, she's different ler.
like lawwwl. x))
man, I miss his lessons. surprisingly, like majority of the Limies were under him also.
"AND ZHIXIN I'M GNA KILL YOU I AM I AM I AM
you make me sound like a violent boisterous person thing
when i'm graceful & puttogether& full of airs" -day's blog
oh mans. i must run fast ler xD
&ur really violent towards me ohkay. but nevermind, I shall forgive you! since zihan helped avenge beixin & i!
see, im so nice man <3
oh pui. like today jiawei stole my JoyLuckClub to steal my notes >:((((
oi. like my lit so toot also luh can. my lit is reallyreally unpredictable de luh. I can fail and get like superlow. so dont trust my stuff.
and I PAY ATTENTION IN CLASS. >:( my notes=my effort lehhh. pfft.
im not surrending my lit notes to jiawei man. no way.
hmph. I shall go camwhore with amberle when she comes to sg.
then I shall make jiawei jealous wakekeke.
AMBERLE AND ZANE. :)
like wootwootwoot <3<3<3
like amberle was showing me a pic of her metrosexual friend and she was like absolutely mortified and all. cause she felt that he looked gay/girl.
and i was like LOL, omg so cute! he makes a cool dp man!
ahaha. then he was holding this air refresher in 1 pic and the other pic he was like.. lol he looked like the WEI5 from MOT!
wahhahaha
ohmanns. this week so so so toot. bleugh.
&im a happy girl cause I have a new black mini!
<3 i could be the one-
0718pm
have yoo ever thought that its yoo that's boring - 26.7
and I believe in giving respect only when it is dued
and and and, they always say do unto others what you want others to unto to you.
everyone's telling me to stand firm. to hold my ground. for everything I believe in. for myself. no matter what what what
but the thing is that its just so darn difficult and everyone knows it.
paranoia; they're all feeling it.
but really, I dont see the logic. I mean, sure you can make them all, make us all, do this do that. erase this. eat that.
but you can never destroy us. you can never shake our resolve.
yoo can do whatever in your power to force us out of our sanctuary. but you can never destroy these feelings.
&you'll just stir up our emotions. stir up a storm.
we're just so much MORE better safer being plastic anyway.
peace out.
<3
PE today was ._. I mean it was frisbee again. &dayanna's like reallyreally aggressive luh.
I mean she's suppose to attack the frisbee. but she attacks ME instead.
eh! if I get sore throat right, it'll be your fault!
oh mans. I feel so traumatised by you lah dayanna.
like I threw the frisbee and she just continued charging towards me and hitting me.
thats like zhixin abuse luh right :(
dont say I didnt warn you people! Must be careful around dayanna. she's scaryy!
&you can never beat her in a catfight. so must scram fast.
cause like thats the only thing we can do. cause we all have long legs. so what better use for them than running away from dayanna
wakekeke.
ohkay, she's so gonna kill me tomorrow.
hey I'm so proud of myself today! ahaha! like I stayed awake for all the lessons and I understood EVERYTHING.
*grins*
and and and, I just bought this really nice mini from cw!
like the material is all velvety-soft and black and all. !<3
and tomorrow is like so bleugh luh. have fun trying to survive tomorrow.
*sniffs* people these days have no mercy for poor kids like me.
&if i tried to save him, my whole world would cave in.
oh mans. like Beautiful Disaster is like forever stuck in my mind. hahahaha.
eh! Kaiting and Marion played The Nutcracker during break today. then its like the 3L girls were like owning the whole canteen.
like there was no one but us.
wakekeke.
then there was food. there was music. and and and! kaiting played the first part of Unfaithful. and it was like so wow man!
<3 Unfaithful! and this is more than love.
mmm, I find pianists, drummers and guitarists really attractive. hahas. like like like, the drummer from Mcfly! xD
baby, just pretend that your heart still needs me
and your soul completes me
and we'll find a way
to fall in love again.
hey, love me man. I'm emo
0457
my paper heart would bleed - 25.7
we're a democracy. not a dictatorship
&I think thats just the way its gonna be
its kinda cruel of you
to leave without goodbye
or is this just another one of your games
please just dontplaywithme, my paper heart would bleed.
&there are people deleting their blogs or password protecting them.
but I choose to leave my blog as it is. well apart from _ cause _ can be broken _
so there's really no point in doing so.
&its all so _ now that I dont have a place to rant without feeling worried that I'll get a _ for it.
arhwells.
public domain.
decided to take the risk. and leave it like that. since I'm already in webcliques and well, like so paiseh to tell them the reason why I had to delete my blog
I should be fine luh.
bleugh. if im blogless, i might as well go _
strange how they keep telling us its bad to keep things bottled up &all. but _
hey my dear whoever-who-intrudes-upon-this, you're so nice and shuai/chio lah riteeee. so dont sue me kay. you're nice right. like you're so nice lahhh mm mm dont sue lah ohkay mm mm.
oh bleugh. much of my content is about me anyway.
*
school was tolerable I guess. considering how I didnt fall asleep much. ^^
tiffany told me that I looked reallyexhausted and that my eyebags are bigger.
&i was like OMNG. :(
I dont want eyebags! ew!
day finally returned to school and went around asking for hugs. :x
hahas glad she's back though. she keeps me sane man. and safe from the evil clutches of , of, of, of all that I need protection from :)
then she was laughing away about me being a 'broomstick' and the people infront of us like looked at us like we're crazy. which she is. :x
wakekeke. hmm day, if you're reading this, the evidence of you abusing poor beixin is up for collection. urhurhur. yea.
see, I'm so nice man.
leena the mugger!
I like these two pic loads. since it potrays us as being caged in or something. which is like really true. <3
tennis courts in the early morn. nice right? its really nice ohkay. say its nice.
looking out at the empty tennis courts always give me a sense of being at peace with myself. lala~
erasing the heart shape and the smiley next to day's name
baby dont turn your back&pretend-
baby help me find a way to carry on
&your soul completes me thats why im incomplete.
AND IM SO LALA cause i aced this history assignment. :)
and at first I thought it was chyiwei's. cause she was like gasping &flipping the paper then I realised there was no way in hell her handwriting could be so messy and that it was mine
sighsigh. if only I would be this lucky for this thursday's history test.
or PHYSICS SPA. when it comes to science/amath/history well, im like hopeless luh.
pui pui pui. :x
mmm today there was this DSA thing luh. then I was like walking past this group of girls in the canteen and one of them wore stockings then inwardly i was like oh lol, wait till andrew sees this
then the girl suddenly saw me then her eyes got all big and round like O.O
then she was like pointing at me then asking friends. eh, dunno who she talking to luh lol.
she was like, eh, arent you that one
that one
that one
then i was like, harrr what one
then she was like looking at her friends, then pointing to me
and her mother was like O.o...
then she said what nanyang what dance.
then her mother looked like she just realised something then was mumbling something about nanyang and dance. &i was like huh, im from rv. RV. rv. RV. rv. RV
hurhurhur ._. then later I finally understood her. mmm, she's some girl from my previous dance class luh.
had one2one math with mrstay today. blahhh. I have mixed feelings about these sort of stuff.
cause like a part of me loathe it cause I always feel so damn vulnerable when its just me alone. and another part of me is like, ohkay fine, I know its good for me and all that.
*
I'd give every moment I have
just to keep up with you.
0902
he's a beautiful disaster - 24.7
I dont know, I dont know
what he's after
but he's so beautiful
he's a beautiful disaster
&if I could hold on
to all the tears and the laughter
it would be such a beautiful disaster
nightmare. worst. than ever.
exactly what happened. different face. HIS face.
what IFs.
its funny how your past comes back to haunt you in a completely effed up way.
then woke up feeling insecure. like as though someone would attack me from the back. then kept having chills&goosebumps and everything.
cause like _ luh>.icantshakethisfeelingoff.icantforget.every_every_.
and upon entering the class, and seeing THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL I felt muchmuchmuch worst.
like ants crawling everywhereeverywhereeverywhere. and the feeling that ants are crawling all over me. like exactly how I felt after _. vermins. ants. hands
SORRY IF THIS IS TOO EXPLICIT FOR YOUR POORPOOR SOUL TO TAKE &IM SRY THAT MY LIFE IS SCREWED UP.
boy, that was random.
ran 2.4. paced jingwen. but still each round took me like 2.5min. while at the old campus, it was usually 2min.
blahhh like our current field is SOSOSO big, its even bigger than NUS der.
and cause I havent ran for quite a while, it was hard to catch my breathe.
and HEY IM ALIVE MAN. she didnt kill me :) wakekeke. and the fire drill happened during LITERATURE LESSON AGAIN.
so, test will be on friday.
*grins*
too bad uh jiawei. I think he ponned today cause there was lit test initially.
and inwardly I berated myself for telling the truth.
its the lies that protect me. its the lies that helped me come this far.
its the lies that have become me. that have become Truth.
&in school, its no longer a place to learn FOR ME.
the pressure in school FOR ME has reached a point where learning is no longer important to ME.
its surviving.
oh bleugh. like toot toot toot. everything so toot up.
*
and was telling beixin how it would be like so cool to make 3L kites and everything. the kite thing inspired by zihan's compo hahas.
then like, to raise funds for the kids in other countries.
&it'll be like xD man.
*
&till yoo it was nothing but lonely nights-
0908
life is a dream I wanna wake up from - 23.7
&im sitting all alone in my room baby, everything reminds me of yoo
looking back if we had one more night to spend &if I had known that we would become what we have become now I will steal every second and I will never let it end.
not over you yet.
gosh. i feel so disorientated. mugged the entire morning. baby, be proud of me then went out to Sakura to celebrate SK's bdae.
and I just realised I have so so so much more work to do. =(
time wont turn this around.
literature - test on monday history - assignment on ireland [?] Mathematics - assignments 2 &3 [overdued] art - type out the whole folder thingy. english - print out notes [?] this means I have to change the whole ppt since my background is black. so when I print everything out, it'll be black. :(
and I still have the Making Salts assignment. yes, I've yet to hand it in, to my UTMOST HORROR. I dont have the values and the WHOLE ASSIGNMENT IS BLANK BLANK BLANK minus my name&the date.
Its like I dont even remember not handing it in or well... I dont know. When it comes to homework, everything used to be so systematic. record in diary -> go do/copy WISELY -> hand in
so when I saw the making salts assignment, I almost freaked out. she's gna kill me im telling you. so, long story short, Im doomed.
and I didnt record down history homework either. Which isnt something I would usually do. cause once the cher say got this homework, I sure will write down wannnnnnn.
tears hair& bangs head on the wall
arbish lah. sai sai sai.
#(*%*()*$@%(*$
I dont know what I'm writing anymore T^T.
nothing makes sense now.
*shakes myself frantically*
oh blah blah blahhhh!
I'm telling you im gonna end up with l1r5 of 35. then I'll end up in SUPERVISEDSELFSTUDY or something. YEAH AND IM GONNA BE LAST IN CLASS.
cause EVEN JANSON AND JIAWEI PASSED AMATH. then I'll get transfered out of RV! to some noob school.
oh the horrorrrrrrrrr.
look at me now, holding on by myself
cause no one's here to help me now. cause we all have to help ourselves
like everyone's feeling lost with me. crazy. sick. dead[?]
I didnt used to be like that. even though I'm usually the one who advocate change, but, ohshytnevermindthisiscrap.nowLOOKAWAY-
I WANNA BE A SUPERGENIUS THEN I WONT NEED TO WORRY ABOUT COMING LAST. I WANNA HAVE AN INSPIRATION CATCHER OR SOMETHING THEN I WONT NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ART. I WANNA BE SUPER ANYTHING THEN I WONT NEED TO WORRY ABOUT NOTHING.
oh sniffs~ I dont know how to handle next year. since its supposedly worst.
I've got people asking me in disbelief whether "sec3 life is really that difficult" acutally, I dont think so. for most of the sec3s that is. but for sec3s like me, who are underachievers who tyco-ed into stuff &has a bucketful load of commitments, sec3 life is waywayway difficult.
:'(
&its not like I can drop anything.
like I wanna drop piano, but my parents wont let because of $issues. like they want me to drop dance, &im like no way in hell man like I cant drop art since its the one THAT PULLS ME UP but if we have to continue doing stuff away from my canvas, its gonna be a burden I cant drop anything else.
=(
&everyone's telling me to stay away from the computer. but that's like telling a fish to stay away from water.
boo. itstoocomplicatedtorantabout it here. cause then certain people will assume. and certain people will think they know. then I'll land myself in hot soup all over again.
and after a while, I learnt to keep things to myself&_. cause of my current circumstances.
5% pleasure, 50% pain baby.
hey I cant stand this no more- CAN YOO HEAR ME? 0555
where'd yoo go - 22.7
just like the rain washes this all if the tears will help yoo to heal all that is real all that is wrong let them fall baby fall.
*
pathetic, emo entry ahead. yoo have been warned.
Why are we like this.
one moment, its like yoo're the only one that understands me, like you're always there for me and the next, we're complete strangers
baby, dont turn away. and whats with the hostility? the cold shoulder?
I didnt do anything wrong. I didnt do ANYTHING at all. we didnt do anything. was that wrong?
its a common fact that I never initiate stuff. but that never changed the fact that you were always there for me when I fell
so what did I do wrong now there's nothing betw _ so why why why why why.
='(
&my hands and knees are bruised and I'm crawling back to yoo.
its like I never existed. &the realisization that you arent there is something I have to cope with now.
are you coming back? you've been gone for an awfully long time.
and you can never be replaced. so come back. please. 0854
ouch, my eye - 21.7
&baby, we can make it. we can be a onenightstand
today was pissifying. got caught for my hair today. which was unbelievable since I never get caught. cause I'm too guai1
so today was super suay for me. stella too.
felt a bit irritated cause my hair was ohkay compared to LOADS OF OTHER PEOPLE. mmm, its like, the people around me are worst then me and they dont get caught. bleuuugh.
then it was like _ asked stella &i to go to the toilet. then stella peeked out to see if _ was still there. luckily _ wasnt.
so stella chionged out, with me behind &she was like skipping and saying :today's a happy day
and I was like lmao, quick luh go back in later _ sees us.
then we tried to open the damn door which refused to open. like it was stuck or something though it wasnt locked.
then in the end, both of us pushed and the door gave way and we almost fell into the class and I got all high.
but its ohkay you know. I think this will all work out in my favour.
=D
cause I do want a haircut after all. I just need an excuse to. and if they like complain and everything, I can finallyfinally go for another haircut.
sweeeet. x)
so i dont care man, call them& persuade them to let me cut hair!
huimin's bdae today. chyiwei and I kop her CHOCOLATE BANANA CAKE! which rocks kay. the cake rocks. xD chyiwei &i were like pigging out &all. wakekekeke.
then recess was _ took the _ to sing huimin a birthday song. =)
mmm then walked back to class and while crossing the track, jx ran passed me and the whole thing was like ._.
cause he runs super fast. which isnt fair cause some people got longer legs than others.
lessons are getting more&more unbearable each day. blah. cept for lit though.
and its like I miss _ luh. under _, we could get like As &all and its like _'s method ACTUALLY WORKS &we've DONE EVERYTHING last year ler. that is why I dont see the need to REPEAT everything?
like the lesson's purpose is to teach us how to _. which EVERYONE knows. since almost everyone in class were also under _.
>=( I WANN _!
mmm, went to ikea with kwanki and andrew for dinner. then was like hiding from our jnr since we werent suppose to be there and all. cause the mighty KYS will slaughter us for "slacking".
which we werent =( while all of them [cept of the mighty KYS] sleeps in C, we were running up and down finding chers and waiting for andrew to finish his compo. which takes alot of hard work. cause we must encourage him n all. ._.
yoo know, moral support.
mmm, so we just went out for the break that we deserve. we didn pon =)
then reached back in time for filming. was reallyreally tiring though. but the performance was well, apart for the really luo suo emcee, and weirdstuff... it was ohkay. well, I enjoyed the first two skits.
the last one was ._.
it was all bout interaction &all then the audience were made to fold paper flowers and write their name and their 'firsts'. like FIRST TIME I FELL, FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL.
then there was this cher who wrote FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL &that her mother forgot to pick her up. then another student wrote what, FIRST KISS &her friends forced her to kiss someone. mmm
how very... well. that certainly brings back loads of memories.
and lkc was infront of me throughtout my filming. and andrew was beside me and he was like trying to peek over her shoulder to see what she was writing LOL.
mmmm, lkc very cute luh. it was like there was this part where the cast start blowing bubbles and all and lkc was also like stretching out her hands to catch the bubbles xD
went out like 15min before the show ended and went to talk to kp. wahaha. he's now my most trusted sec1 jnr.
then after the whole thing, ran ran RANNNN all the way to the bus stop to avoid my stalker. and then at the busstop realised that the crowd was coming so we decided to risk it all and RANNNN to the next busstop.
then was like, run so fast, Edwin tripped and fell. And cause it was dark I didnt see the crack on the pavement and almost sprain my leg as well.
blah. but the run was worth it I guess. didnt see _ in the end. which is always a good sign.
mmm, _ is a richrichrich taitai. cause this girl saw _ shopping at paragon or bugis or something, with her husband holding bags of ... clothes I presume.
like how she everyday different der. then xlyn they all were like saying maybe she got a "rented wardrobe".
oh blah. i wanna be like her when i grow up! =)
hahas. so many clothes man &.& I love her dress today luh can. wahahaha. with its white ruffles, laces and all~
oh pfft. I wanna be like her man.
and this time I wont compromise my happiness&comfort with anything
now, it'll be for real- 1140pm
The Tragedy That is Thursday- 20.7
Thursdays are horrible. We used to have 2 science practs on thurdays-
until they decided to put us out of our misery and switched chem with history.
yeah. and im so hating mathematics right now. its always, ZHIXIN DONT BULLY MATH, WHY ZHIXIN, COME ZHIXIN
yeahyeah. im gonna study hard this time round mrs tay. =(
I wont bully math if math doesnt bully me.
OHKAY LETS DO MATH!
im gonna work my ass out this term. cause I dont wanna fail this term. not again.
mm, school is turning me into some boring nerdy freak. save me man.
today during physics pract, weiquan was like coughing like hell &his whole face was red. dont know what happened to him luh.
then jiawei was so drama and was like telling weiquan to breathe &doing the hand actions and all eh! dont think I dont know hor jiawei! ur just trying to kop weiquan's Pink DOLPHIN!
mm, then yenchai was like weiquan! dont die on me
like lol luh. ._.
bleugh. kept having the feeling that ants were crawling all over me today. cause my area is infested with ants. its horrific im telling you.
and I have to like kill them all before chyiwei sees them and freaks. but its like those ants are like immortal or something. cause they just wont die
urgh. bleugh.
discovered a page full of scribblins on xh's ss book. and a tragic love story...
well, i think its tragic luh. chyiwei and xh just finds it ke si. im a sucker for these kind of relationships luh. :x
its like this girl and this guy in love and everything but the rest of the world just wants to tear them apart. ohkayohkay not the world luh. the church. and its like I read the page and it was like so saddening.
like how it was the guy who helped her in her social studies and humanities subjects so she did very well for her Os.
and how the guy helped her to become a better person.
and her writing was really well... it was heartrenching. and really bitter reallyreally bitter.
its really not true when they say that its better to have loved and lost rather to have not loved at all dont believe that man. those are just lies. like you know my previous avatar? yeah. the one that say that the best thing about believe is the lie
mm, like what I was telling beixin just now. its like I'm probably atoning for my sins in my past life or something. cause bexin said ytd: I really pity zhixin. it's a wonder how she always gets involved with weird guys - ranging from beng ones, nerdy ones to bloody desperate ones.
what can I say, opposites attract?
eh. its really sucky when i get into those. its not like i can help it or anything luh. if FOP was that easy to me, then its like ...
WOULDNT MY WORLD BE A BETTER PLACE! =(
the rest of the day was weird. like _ oh bleugh.
yoo know how it sucks when i wanna blog about something but i cant? like I need to rant but i cant and the thing is stuck inside of me and its like the water in a glass bottle placed in the freezer it'll break in th end.
0553 ouch, my eye - 19.7
english presentation was sorta a failure.
but ohwells.
AND OMG I DUNNO WHY BUT THERE ARE LIKE SO MANY ANTS AROUND MY AREA TODAY.
&I dont remember having any food in the class. everything throw out ler. bleugh.
mmm, our booth was rather :/ luh.
since many were slacking. then put alot of pressure on the few people tending to the stall.
yeah. I was in charge of zeropoint since wanleng say I know how to play. *grins at leng*
hurhur. ._.
I think I'm gonna go siao ler. OH MY EYE. perfect timing man. I feel so embarrassed.
cause it was like, my eye was itching till like tears started to fall& sec4 guys were like... there and all.
mmm. but they were rather mean. as in, cause they were freakishly TALL. then bx and I couldnt get the rope over him and he had to squat quite low to jump.
in a way, he was mocking at us luh. =(
and jx who was after him did the same also. blahhh. =(
HEY I WANNA GROW TALLER.
yeah. I didn slack much. except to eat my food. [[the milkshake set was nice]] and to help winnie throw rubbish. yeah, she bullied me into it. ='(
LOL. jk.
we earned... quite little luh. compared to jx's class who earned THREEHUNDRED&NINETYFOUR!
WHYWHYWHYYY couldnt we have been in charge of food =(
day's down with a fever and she's got bio SPA tomorrow. hey spongebob get well soon and good luck for tomorrow kay. &if you're reading this, ctrl-f4 and go study.
pig one : math is difficult mrs tay: life is difficult pig one: math makes life difficult
oh, I so totally agree. I WANNA PASS AMATH!
sniffs~ personally, I feel that if I were in the chimp's class, I wouldnt really be like that now. though being in the chimp's class is pressurizing LIKE HELL, &I surely will get breakdowns more frequently.
but at least, I dont think I would do as badly.
pressure is good.
even if it pushes me off the edge.
now that, would be a blessing dont-need-to-even-disguise.
tomorrow got PHYSICS SPA. ohmanzzz. its really not my fault that I'm horrible in these areas. its like, the subjects hate me luh.
ohkayohkay, I have a short attention span. but ...mei ban fa luh T.T
if only all the chers were like mr kung. or kong. or kung. BLAH LUH.
anyways, felt so EWWWed out just now. cause the creep brought his friends along and everything. excuse me for being sensitive. but they were SO OBVIOUSLY STARING AND POINTING AT ME.
oh sniffs. AND DONT YOU DARE CALL THE KETTLE BLACK YOU BLACK POT. in case you hadnt notice, I'm not exactly proud of you. you're like the skeleton I wanna lock away in some faraway place.
so sad but true, for me there's only yoo- 0543 downward spiral - 18.7
seriously, I have to come back down.
thinking that the next day is gonna get better is obviously not gonna help me. thinking that there's no way but up is ridiculous as well.
oh bleugh, I'm giving myself false hope
&I realise now that its an abyss that we're falling into so waiting for myself to reach solid ground is out of question.
and I'm gonna pick myself up. just you wait and see.
*
some guy from school got into a car accident. and its like the pool of dried blood near the road is :/
wj said it was ironic. cause he said some cher got her hand hit by a car and that guy said it was karma.
what goes around comes around I guess.
anyways, according to wj, he was really unlucky that day.
and that he was conscious when he was impaled&all. OUCH.
new south wales was a humbling and refreshing experience.
humbling because it was bloody tough. refreshing cause I slept during the last 20minutes.
joy.
and I scored the lowest in class for AMATH. oh this sucks.
like even janson and jiawei PASSED can.
moral of the story: doing notes for Math may help after all.
pfft. if this is what my AMath is like, I shudder to even think about Physics.
and like that OCD guy kept bugging me and its either I'm going crazy or I'm really seeing him everywhere
my reputation is tarnished.
someone stab me. please.
its like he wont ever fucking LEAVE ME ALONE.
and I'm so nice I dont have the heart to push him away. oh bleuugh. if you think I can do this, then how on earth did I get into that _ mess.
AND ITS NOT LIKE IM LEADING HIM ON.
or anything. its like I'm ignoring him. giving him the cold shoulder.
but he's just so... _.
OCD.
speaking of seeing people... today druing break was like myob yeah, then walked behind this pillar to avoid some other people. then kk shouted my name and I was like: what.
mmm then i turned to look at him.
then shock diao.
and died.
no luh. lol.
just found the whole thing rather _
bleugh. you have to be there to see why luh.
MMM I WISH I WAS A SUPERGENIUS THEN I WOULDN HAVE TO WORRY BOUT THIS.
THEN I WOULDN WORRY ABOUT FAILING AND COMING IN LAST
&these ugly skeletons they dug out fingers prodding poking
buried secrets now surface and nasty lil things like wildfire they spread
manipulation.
and the death of her sanity.
*
DO DUTY DO DUTY HELLO DO DUTY UNCLE AUNTIE XIAO JIE XIAO DI COME AND DO CLEANINESS DUTY HAO MAH? DO DUTY DO DUTY HELLO DO DUTY
I like the way the guys sing this. &its like they wrote it on pieces of paper and it was hung on every window of the class.
like so totally LAUGHOUTLOUD luh.
*
and to sleep forever.
0949.
hey bitch - 17.7
BLEUGH. eef the bandwidth T^T
IM GONNA FIND A NEW HOST. *shakes fists in the air* this is so bleugh.
monday blues. today was bad.
bx got it worse then the rest of us though. but she was just standing up for herself.
you see, you see, this is why we cant ever stand up for ourselves. cause everytime we do, you guys just push us back down again.
eff all your talks about how we have to stand up for what is right
blahblahbleuuugh.
funny how its you people who bring us down in the end.
I'm gonna die so badly at the end of this term man.
ohkay plan A shall be excuted tomorrow.
LIKE SO TOTALLY EFF OFF LUH YOU TOOT. i think im gonna die of embarrassment. im gonna be the laughing stock of the whole school.
down goes zhixin.
save me man.
0845 shopatherapy;@bugis - 16.7
fall, baby fall
ive been like singing that phrase for the whole day. :x yepp. HEY YOU PEOPLE HAVE GOTTA HEAR STELLA SING 'FALL BABY FALL'. she's supercute luh. xDD
so went out to bugis today to shop with bx and leena. met up with bx first and walked&walked. &saw this shop selling loads of nice _ but its always so _ since its like, we can only see but not buy?
since rule number 1 is: if the other girls bought it, I cant buy. lest you'll be labelled as a .CAT
rule number 2: if she saw it first, she gets to decide whether or not you can try it on/buy it abide the rules, or no one would ever shop with yoo.
then tried on this drop dead gorgeous black tube dress. BLEUGHH. I'll marry whoever who buys me that dress
met up with leena and went to pastamania. shall post the pictures after bx has uploaded them. yeahh, &went to take neos too. turned out fairly nice this time round
then went bugis street to shop. and we were like: TRY TRY TRY. just try. cause there's no harm in trying. WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS BABY, TRY TRY TRY AGAIN!
and we're like trying on clothes like crazy.
if I had all the $ in the world, I'd buy them all. from this, we can conclude that zhixin is impulsive and splurges like crazy
OH LALA. then then then, went to this shop and the clothes there are really nice. but around 20ish. anyways, the shopkeeper there was a creep.
im sure bx will blog about it so go read her blog for the details. since I was trying on this two shirts and the salesgirl was outside so ... yeah.
and was like, we went to the opposite shop and there he was with the stupid smirk, staring at us. then we went further into the shop and he came out of HIS shop and infront of THE SHOP WE WERE IN to stare &smirk that us.
creepy.
and was like when we walked out, he was like supersuper ... bleugh luh.
pui pui pui.
BX! throw away that compass thingy. For all we know, there may be like a tracking device there.
splurged on: teeshirt. tights. HP SOCK! skull tie.
ohkay, I'm gonna start saving up for next month.
bleugh! B> mini skirts. denim skirts. please offer me.
today was perfect baby.
NOW- FALL BABY FALL!
hah! i'm sure leena and bx expected that. they'll both be like =.=" now wakekeke.
KOR WANTED ME TO START KMS WITH HIM. BUT I AM CLEVER. aiyo. i cant speak korean, you cant speak korean. so... too bad luh.
pay me and I'll reconsider bah.
for now, all you _s leave me to my Audition.
PEACE PEACE PEACE! get that? IN OTHER WORDS IT MEANS:
STOP BUGGING ME YOU NO LIFE-ERs.
*
&the start of another week. of tolerating, keeping quiet, and enduring.
oh joy joy joy.
oh baby, this is my tragic tale-
0610pm
the wait - 15.7
baby, play another slow jam this time make it sweet
today was pretty screwd up. like the rest of the week.
ohh pui pui pui.
I had assumed the weekends would be like a brief respite. cause i figured that since the weekdays went horribly& things cant get any worst the only way left is UP
but this is like an unwinding road. and I'm at the point of no return.
spinning. baby, this is my tragic tale
speech day was bleugh. cause they had the sec4GUYS infront of us? to remind how vertically challenged we were.
then after the whole thing wanted to go out but no one was free.
which is blahh. cause usually EVERYTHING HAPPENS ON SATURDAYs and I can never make it cause of how busy I am and when I'm finally free...
yeah, its funny how things turn out in the end.
so decided to go for the NJRC briefing thing. since I'm determined to give it my all since its my last year in the competition.
&i might as well go see what to do
[edited] _ is STICKY.
and _ was omg _ was. omg _ was.
obsessed?
and throughout the whole thing... was kinda on the brink of losing my temper since ...
YOU KNOW, THERE's A FINE LINE BETWEEN F. & I. and _ crossed the line.
and all this, on top of the fact that no one was free to go out with me =( and I badly needed to go out.
auditionsea really made me feel better after that. as in though I felt like a noob, it was reallyreally fun.
and like I can finally get my mind of stuff &well, at least i know it isnt CURSED like therapy.
i dont think it is anyway.
*
oh bleugh. i cant believe this kinda shit happens to me. cause I dont deserve it.
stuff like THIS dont happen to PEOPLE LIKE ME.
so its kinda _
LIKE DISAPPEAR FROM MY LIFE SHOOSHOOSHOO. =(
if planA doesnt work, I have to find someone to sabo for plan B. and that'll be so like _
T.T
*
anyways, here's the video for audition. the vid is really <3<3<3
cause the love, it aint the same- 1000pm I dont deserve this - 14.7
TGIF thank God its friday.
rained today. &drown their voices. drown the words. drown my sorrow. drown the hurt.
chinese oral was pretty screwd for me. as in, when I practised before I went in, I was perfectly fine. then I went in and was overwhelmed by the nerves.
and I couldnt keep the quiver out of my voice? which was rather bleugh.
but I would rather have stayed in the room the whole day- then to go back to cca.
but I did anyway. cause it was against my conscious to pon to go out with the girls.
then fellow excos told me they had a meeting about me, _ and everything. then started talking to me about it all.
&I broke down- cause it was just too much sometimes
a bit of this shit, a bit of that.
no one seems to understand the words: UNNECESSARY STRESS.
I'm really sorry to yoo guys. since its because of me.
its kinda screwd. everything. nowadays.
cause I get into these freaky, weird, scary .ships and everyone gets irritated/affected cause of ME. first was the bx/day&the blogs issue. now, this.
&thanks to you guys and stin, for just being there. &ys too, who offered me his shoulder to lean on. and reassuring me that he's got my back on this.
felt so disorientated and lost today. so was really grateful to you guys who kept watching over.
its just so embarrassing+frustrating. how shit happens because of ME.
and how I have this stupid tendency to blurt out my deepdarksecrets whenever I feel so _
and fucked up.
stin is right when he said I shouldnt be so sensitive. I really need to go out. :/ oh BLAHHHH ='(
wei quan RAPPED today. even the peeps from 3k were like looking over and were scolded by their cher for it.
its like, SO LOL.
yenchai has bad influence on him ohkay. its like, he grabbed the rv50 cap and jammed it onto weiquan's head, then took off his specs. then pushed weiquan out and prompt him to do the handsign thing.
and OMG HE RAPPED OMG HE RAPPED OMG SO ROTFLMAO luh can.
then everyone was like ENCORE ENCORE.
and yenchai gave weiquan the signal to shift his cap to the other side of his head to show his face.
and HE RAPPED AGAIN.
omg, sho steam luh, like LMAOs can.
I think he should represent the class and go rap for Be Yourself Day or something. then the rest of us do The Thriller dance after he's done with rapping.
ohkay that'll be like SO LOL.
It's just 10% luck 20% skill 50% concentrated power of will 5% pleasure 50% pain And 100% reason to remember the name
0849pm
baby just goodnight - 13.7
baby just close your eyes, cause I cant take the sorrow. baby just walk away yoo know I cant stay there's no easy way to say goodbye. so baby just say goodnight.
&cause it'll hurt less this way.
making me emo all over again. cause baybee, say goodnight. I'll be gone tomorrow anyway.
&today was unbearable. PHYSICS PRAC, AMATH TEST, CHEM PRAC.
slept during amath test. no point fighting a battle you've already lost anyway. slept during hmt.
cause when you cant sleep at night, you might as well sleep during the day.
*
itshhh hardsh 2 beli3v3 thatsh ii c0ulDn``t shee thAt euuu w3r3 0wA3sxx derex beshiiides muueee.
wheeeshhh. singing what I've been looking for in the tw1T5 version makes everyone go lala. and day hit me today.
cause she refused to believe she's a scary singer.
and poor ol' innocent me was just telling her the truth.
=(
LOLOLO. note to self: never get into a bitch fight with day, she's scary.
btw, day, if your reading this, bx and I BOTH NEED SHOPATHERAPY. *hinthint*
just like bx said, we've been putting up with shit everyday. and well, I just want out
was having rant session with winnie and karhui just now. then bitched bout loads of stuff. and how we came to a conclusion that we just couldnt stand it
we're powerless
who are we to speak up for ourselves. who are we to stand up for what we want.
how can we.
who would believe us. who would believe me.
&there's nothing we can do about it.
oh this sucks. so badly.
*
hey, can you hear me
*
happy birthday meimei.
cause you're the epitome of perfection.
&I can never be you.
cause you're it and I'm your shadow.
but I'm thankful for you. cause you never told on me.
when i was therapying, when I bought new stuff when I was on the phone with _ all the way till 4am and you couldnt sleep cause of me, when that happened for quite a few days.
you never told on me.
and thats enough.
though we were never close. though you have never everever called me jie. though you're younger & so fucking perfect. &they never fail to remind me
but I still love you anyway.
happy birthday. *
what goes around comes around =)
dropped my wallet just now and this lady ran all the way to return it to me.
we returned the wallet to the PRC this morning.
and she was like SHIE SHIE SHIE SHIE. then this weird hand punching thing. :x
=)
*
boo. the game of hide and seek.
ends here.
cause I gave myself away.
*
&its a king we put up there and he has a short way to fall from grace.
0612pm when my life has to move on - 12.7
cause you and I both loved what both of us spoke of
beixin and I found a prc's wallet on the bus today. bleugh. she's the really popular one. the one with DYED HAIR.
BOO.
and she's like really careless. cause her wallet had like >$50, and a $10 which was folded like origami. &LOADS OF CARDS.
yea, and apparently she takes neos by herself
well as bx said, its always good to keep like your address and tele number in your wallet. just a lil advice from us to you Miss PRC.
*
was raining this morning. and it was sososo dark.
and none of us , cept marion dared to enter that toilet, so we just took the risk and changed outside at the grandstand.
since it was drizzling and was still early, no one went there.
OH BLEUGH. the lights in the toilet still havent been fixed.
*
and _ was so _.
oh bleugh.
to think that all _s will soon be like that.
like a game of hide-and-seek.
*
NEON GREEN paper cranes make me ROTFLMAO.
*
oh boo. I need to hug something. I need to kick something. I need to laugh with someone. I need to sing with huiyi and bx and not day, lol definitely not day =)
and i need money. I need to shop.
OH BLAHBLAH TODAY SUCKED. 0851pm
when my life has to move on - 11.7
cause I'm the soul without the song.
and I know I shouldnt be here. with the amount of work I'm supposed to be doing&all. but I think I'll go mad if I dont do this
its become a part of me.
my kind of free.
I dont need help. I thank you for your concern. but I got all the help in the world.
and I never felt better-
cause I have everything I need. and I dont need help from anyone else.
*
&I need to thank a few people. who helped me that time.
firstly, my senior, who helped me when at that time. when I was all confusedandlost. and for listening to me and talking to me while I was on the verge of going hysterical.
to 3of my girlfriends. thankyou, for showing me that I'm not going crazy. thankyou, for sitting with me on the floor of the mrt station and listening to me, giving me advice, and up to now, you've still got my back. and thankyou, for ALWAYSBEINGTHERE =), for being someone I can count on, for being someone who could relate to me.
thankyou to wh, for the latenightchats. yoo always found a way to make me smile x)
and to stin, for never asking what happened, yet was always there for me. ready to listen.
and to _, for keeping me sane.
and to di, for everything else.
and I'm sorry to the class. to bx. to day. cause if it wasnt for me, nothing would have happened.
Im sorry I brought everyone down. esp. day. and bx, who were just trying to stand up for me. and I'm sorry cause this is my problem. my mistake. &I shouldnt have dragged everyone down with me
*
I have ways of coping with my problems.
contrary to popular belief, I dont just keep it to myself.
my blog my confidantSSSS.
I have all the help I need.
*
and please, please, im begging you PLEASE, dont blow things out of proportions. dont make a mountain out of a molehill. cause you dont know what really happened.
its not what you think. i didn have sex. at all.
please just dont.
its not you in my situation, its me
I cant handle the consequences of your assumptions&the mistakes that you will make if you dont let the matter rest.
so im reallyreally begging you, to just forget anything happened.
cause there's only so much that I can take.
*
I dont want this as another burden on my shoulders. not when I am already having trouble coping with homework, projects and all.
I'm only human
*
and now,
everynight, I thank you two, for keeping me sane and giving me strength to face the next day. everyday I thank you two, for spamming me. and being there for me
to help me pull through the whole mess.
<3 0858pm cause you're a star &im fanatical - 10.7
overwhelmed.
thats why I couldnt blog yesterday even though I badly needed to.
I feel so aurgh now cause of my latest art homework- the clay thingies. today was MORTIFYING. especially when I saw what everybody did with their clay. &how I know I cant do it.
cause I must feel it, in order to do it.
I dont feel much for the clay. -.-
BOO. I'm very rigid when it comes to art. as in, I can only work with a paintbrush. nothing less nothing more.
&I can only express myself on the canvas. because thats the only way I can depict my thoughts.
Its not something solid in which I can carve out. Its something deeper. something painful. something bittersweet. something& nothing
and its something only my paintbrush can show.
was raining this morning. but it wasnt the rainmakesmefeelsohighkind of rain. it was the one where you lookback and get all emo and when you jerk back to reality, you find that everything's going horribly wrong, all cause you just cant move on.
and the bees/flies/flying insects arent making things any better.
unfortunately, there are some things even the voodoo dolls cant help me from.
and its all so BLEUGHHHH cause there's so much injustice in the world and there's nothing mere mortals like us can do about it.
you know, just let them think what they wanna think do what they wanna do. just as long as we know whats REALLYTRUE
assumptions. lies. deceit. I HEARD FROM HIM HE HEARD FROM HER SHE HEARD FROM HIMs.
like how she thought the guy was your stead. but he wasnt. and how she confidently exclaimed it.
they think they know what's true and day, its really _ to hear them talk that way about you cause they haveNO IDEA.
its _ when lkc was talking and everything. as in its not her. not really as to what she said. but just, the sudden realisation of the consequences of _. of what happened to you. of everything. of you. of me.
please stay strong and dont make me worry so kay.
*
and I'm just trying to catch up with the rest of the world. cause I know how I've always been a fan of change... but not this kind of change
I cant afford to make this kind of change. cause people will question. people will suspect. people will assume.
Work harder. Try harder. Do better. Score better. Excel.
but that isnt the point. thats what you want me to do.
your expectations- not mine.
*
bahhh. the toilets were in total darkness. and leng saw SOMETHING. shuddershudder~
&we were mass changing with the door opened. cause no choice.
anyway, suddenly cw was like: EH _ YOUR BRA LOOKS COMPLICATED. then HY turns around: LOOKS DIFFICULT TO WEAR BX: AH! I WANNA SEE
the person died on the spot due to the overwhelming... :/
*
and in the end, I thank those who keep me sane throughout everything.the weekends today& all. you know who you are. <3<3<3
i dont forgive. i NEVER forget- 1110pm russian roulette - 8.7
boo.
my results were depressing. it wasnt as if I didnt put in any effort.
i reallyreally tried-
but i guess I wont be able to make up for 2years of neglecting this aspect of my life
and grade6 is gonna be different. cause I'm gonna break out of my current range &back to whatIusedtobe.
went for shopatherapy on my own just now. cause I didn think I could get through the weekends without going to the mall.
with everything that's happening&all.
decided against buying that skirt. cause it suddenly looked so fugly &i wonder how I even liked it in the first place. insanity can do weird things to yoo. oh hmph.
bought the chain& A VOODOO DOLL!
wakeke. shall upload the pic of it when I feel like it.
BOO. and I saw this GORGEOUSWHITEDRESS.
the person who buys that dress for me shall be my new best friend!
and then reached home. went for more therapy. which proved to be a wise decision.
cause the moment I went in, kor found a gm for me.
:D <3<3<3
woootwhheeet.
&then he blessed+haste us. &was like &.& cause as you can see, *insert bigbig grin*
bless was like +100 +100 +100
and though the blue parts shows that haste and bless plus ONEonly... its like alr max luh. :D
yeayeayea. and the bless&haste lasted for 30mins. SHUANG.
I WANNA BE A GM TOO!
ohkay back to my kor. last time I saw him, he was using a storage character. and now?
he's blooday 6x. and A GUILDMASTER too. boo. ironically, GMBDONPAO was the GM who banned my kor.
love is blind.
&i cant help but miss my ryu! and I thought the ryu guy in there was my ryu. but it turned out to be some other ryu.
boo.
i wannt my ryu.
GOOD MOOD GONE- I'm just putting up with you cause he thinks you're nice. but baby kitty, I know what you're really like
oh fucker fuck off. seems like all of you _ all come from the same country.
boo. dotCATS. pui pui pui.
cause you're such a bitch. &I dont get why he still likes you. 1101pm
"everyone has their own secrets, big or small. students, working adults, grandfathers&mothers.
we have the right to choose whether to tell our closefriends/family, or to keep it deep inside.
we're already putting up with the fact that an adult, &a TEACHER is reading our blogs so often. please, give us some space and stop questioning us on our blog content alright? -beixin
"& zhixin so obviously doesnt need your so called counsilling so back off my babe.dont give her unneccesary stress taht she really doesnt need right now." "&BABE,AGAIN MY OFFER TO KICK A DICK WITH MY HIGH HEEL SHOE STILL STANDS."-day
woots<3. I my beixin&day so veryvery- for standing up for me &being there for me.
hugshugshugs. and day, :/ that is, if you can find the dick. lololo.
its really not as serious as you think. and I'm not just saying this just because I want you to get of my case.
which I do. but thats another issue.
I dont trust you or any other chers with what I feel. the thing about trust is that yoo have to earn it. &the thing is that its not what you think
we didn have sex. at all. there was NO SEX.
no sex. no s e x.
in other words, i didnt have s e x. sex. s e x. NOPE NOT ME.
I hope you dont "pull me out of class" or talk to me in class or talk to me at all about this matter.
cant we just let the whole thing rest
I cried because I cried. there are many reasons why a girl would cry. sometimes, to show off, to get attention sometimes, cause they just feel like it.
for me, its the latter. duh. but for reasons I do not wish to divulge to you.
if a girl reminisce and starts crying, is she required to tell her cher? if a girl sees a guy and likes the guy, is she required to tell her cher? if a girl and a guy wish to stead, are they required to tell their cher? If they kiss&hug, are they required to tell their cher? if they decide to stead, are they required to tell their cher? if they argue, are they required to tell their cher? if they break up, are they required to tell their cher? if a girl feels emo/depressed, is she required to tell her cher WHYWHATWHENHOWWHATTHEHELL.
mr lim, im sure you know by now, after talking to me last term that I'm a very emo person. I cry over the slightest failure.
I really dont want you to pull me out of class to talk to me, or in class, or AT ALL for that matter. cause I dont need help.
I dont want it. I dont need it.
thanks alot for your concern, but no thanks.
*
bleugh. I want that mini. so bad.
&that cap. and that chain.
man, I wish I were a rich ``pwiinnnCweSSx . nah, just the rich part actually. like the cher-nxt-lvl.
yesterday, she was wearing hotredheels and leng was like "OMG O.o *shocked&disgusted*".
blahhh. I should set up a donation fund. to save-the-zhixin-from-insanity fund. though its all too late. cause no time to find a job. bleuuuugh.
the money will be for a good cause luh people~ better than hers anyway.
oh lololo.
&janlin's going crazy again > 4BOLLYWOODBLOG we need to save the world from the homo myheaddriesfasterthanyourumbrella that is janlin.
I totally agree with anonymous who commented: Homo headdrysfasterthanumbrella has once again exhibited the reason why people have the utmost contempt for him: his insensitivity.
Not everyone is as dedicated as you to your "obsessions", so you might want to forgive us if we mere Homo sapiens have other commitments.
Its called "a life", which is kinda hard to explain given your lack of experience in this matter.
standing ovation~ buhbye janlin.
eeee! oh no. I still have glitter on me EVERYWHERE. in my hair, in my face on my arms.
&they wont come off.
*looks at Day and hugs her* now, you have glitter too!
boo. i sacrificed myself for the math project. I dont wanna go through this glitter tragedy alone. I wonder if CW is doing any better
I detest saturdays. cause there isnt time for me to actually breathe
today should be better though, since I slept for a whooping 11 hours. just waiting for my tuition cher to arrive yesterday.
oeeeei. she ponned yesterday .
but its a blessing no-need-to-even-disguise so Im not complaining.
just that everytime she can pon, but I cannot.
OHKAY I AM SO BUYING THAT MINI LATER.
Im obsessing over my obsessions. blahblahblah. but at least i dont splurge at all on therapycards now
AND THAT CAP TOO. OR THE CHAIN. OR BOTH. LATER.
so, this is what insanity feels like.
1more day to ENGLISHSUBBED ouranhostclub episode 14. <3
5more days to my ``dArrdArrrbaby meimeiix's bdae. [[LOL ROLLLS EYES. I WONDERHOWTWITSSURVIVE]]
&2 more to yannyann's bdae.
<3<3<3
even though the stars are blind if you show me true love baybee I'll show you mine 0938
its the only way that we survive - 7.7
who has to know-
sometimes, we think we're safe. and we get a bit too comfortable because we assume nothing bad can happen.
&then before we can realise it, its all too late.
boo.
&i'll lock it all away and I will dispose of the key.
[edited.] *
went to anchorpoint to do mathproject.
our board is very nice kay.
hmmmph. day! how can yoo not like ciara's so what! its supersuper addictive OHKAY.
You get, you're just blind to the facts See the lies, just obvious drives for attention You to the fine just supply your suspicious But listen, say you love me Gotta trust me Why you stress this high school mess Break up never, they just jealous Drama for your mama, mean mug for your brother I'm the author of the book nigga judge by the cover, yes I-I been to jail, yes I-I'm grinding for real and I'm positive, they talking negative pimp They hate to see you doing better then them, so
mmm, then went shopping for zhiyun's bdae pressie with cw. and i saw those lil voodoo dolls!
ohmygosh I wann the lil devil one!
and that icelemontee army print mini! &the 77thstreet's cap &the ubercool chain!
boo.
I want loads of stuff. but I cant help it. its all too for me to handle.
*bangs head on table*
caught up with so many stuff recently: mathproject, engproject, interactblogskin, rvccbadge, rvcctee, dianzi
sniffs~
I'm so easily bullied by people.
hurhurs.
I remember how yesterday mrstay came over to nag at me and then she was ended everything with: ZHIXIN, DONT BULLY MATH KAY
rotflmao. more like math bully me luh right.
Amath test next week! I have the confidence to pass this time hor. cause I studied.
*bigbigbig grin*
i cant afford to fail anyway.
mrs tay: yes, I'm desperate to get us to do math
jiawei: suits you or something along that line. that meanmean guy.
winni: but you worse right. you and your xiao DANDAN
woooots. xiao dandan nehhhs. sounds like a tw1T5 to me.
wakekeke. i think its a great match.
bleugh. off for tuition. we are -ians. we're not supposed to have a life.
You let it go in one ear and out the other The he say, she say, they say, I heard- 0607 Drench myself in words unspoken - 6.7
and it was raining like oh so heavily today.
and I was looking out at the foreverempty tennis courts.
mmm I WANNA lie down on the tennis court &feel the rain on my skin.
So close yoo can almost taste it
then LKC caught me looking out the window &was like: wai mian you she me hao kan der then I was like
oh lala. I my seat.
&mrstay is paying me loads of attention nowadays. attention I do not deserve
cause apparently I seem to have this invisible "im blooday confused here" label on me or something
thats why all chers seem to pick on me so much. either that or I'm super suay
mmm. tried finding sml today. from lt4 to staff room just like she told me to then gave up finding her
and on my way back, passed the canteen &saw her EATING.
joseph is right after all she really does -thing but eat bwahh. its like I only ever see her in the canteen luh.
and I bought new uniforms! cause the acrylic stains on my uniforms caught unwanted attention from the chers
&im tired of people asking why my uniform is like that yeah. and some of them went all drama and was like
OMG ZHIXIN YOUR UNIFORM. mmm, yeah, glad yoo noticed too.
IM GOING LALA OVER MCFLY.
how she coped with her new-found fame everyone asked me who the hell is she that weirdo with 5colours in her hair.
bleugh. my hair. is. fuglier. than fug.
pfft. i cut my hair short.
So I guess we're back to us,
everyone's telling me to stand firm.
Thursdays are horrible. 
cause I'm the soul without the song.
overwhelmed.
boo.
"everyone has their own secrets,
HELL.
