ice cold- 31.8

cant take the kid from the fight
take the fight from the kid


didn have the chance to blog yesterday cause was too overwhelmed. presentations semis today and I was pia-ing everything.
a big thanks to sheena who helped LOADS. (:

then was really tired and _ed yesterday. cause the computer either has unstable internet connection and no printer or... well, the other one just came back you see, aft the virus attack and all, so then it was really useless and it took ultra long before I could even start.

like the effing speakers cant even work. >=(

some people are really shameless. tsk.

anyway, the concert today was really entertaining. <3 the serenade. so hotsohot! xD

left after the choir's performance. heard that 2d's performance was a rip-off of 2a's. cause someone from 2a posted the script on his/her blog and 2d saw it and all and yeahhhh. and somehow, 2d got in. ah wells. tsk.

juniors these day have no originality.

*shakes head*

heard that mr soh sang! and mr tong played the guitar and like EEEEE! OMFG I WANNA WATCH!

while everyone was having fun and being entertained, Ellies were away practising sundance and presentation lor. sighs.

the presentation went (x!
Technical was ok. the guy was this really nice looking smiley guy, and even though we overshot the time, he continued smiling and didnt ask us to stop or go faster. that's good right. shows that we're fun and intriguing and worth listening to and yeahh! (:

we managed to crap out some stuff. andrew reckons he can be my cotc disciple.

ah wells.

but the technical one really went quite well. unlike well... ... tiffy's group screwd cause _

non technical was ((x man! went in, and it was yay! another smiley guy who was reallyreally nice. and we did the sundance for him and he was smiling all the way and we finished with the jump and he was like clapping and laughing and looked really impressed. I mean, he did laughed and say "good! very good!"

then we talked and yeah. it was fun.

one of the question he asked was whether we feel that we need to win because we were the seniors of the cca and I was like: no. cause you know in the end its not whether we win, its the process that counts I mean like, yeah, you've heard it many times before lahhh

then he laughed.

but its true.

everyone says that. >.>

kay. then mr suria said i was a disgrace to com club cause of my physics results lawl. then yeahh. we reminded catyeow many times previously of our plight and she even reassured us "dont worry, we'll help you" then she told mr suria that no one told her about anything. she completely forgot and didnt make arrangements. and like YEAH.

felt really pissed. cause, ohkay, chers are always busy but ... aurrgh. what if we really got into the finals? then who's gonna tell us? drive us back to singapore at like some unearthly hours. she shouldve arranged when we told us wuddd. and yeah >=(

i dunno. just felt that that was really irresponsible and SSC being so slow in stuff isnt making anything better.

its just so complicated now. waiting for news of whether we get into the finals by tonight. chers depending on ssc to tell them. i dont trust adults much now.

I want to go finals! and the camp. ok, so the camp will be pure torture for someone like me. but its torture that I dunno... I want to go and dont feel like going at the same time luh.

and i just feel really frustrated at everything. piano exams, njrc, camp, my results and all. even towards the end of kbox outing just now, I was in no mood to sing.

I did get high earlier on in kbox but it was effing cold in there. and before that had an exco lunch and took neos. took neos later on with chyiwei, beixin and huimin.

aurgh. everything I write now is so incoherent that its scaring me. I scored a whooping c for english compo. =(

I think I need to go for english tuition or some shit now.

hmmm gave tchers day pressies to suria and mr soh! we were like in the sciencecenter waiting room and yisheng was like speaking oh so loudly luh. so everyone was looking at us.

yisheng: tomorrow what day uh!
everyone: 1st sept
yisheng: what dayyy!
everyone: tchers day!
yisheng: and where will we be without them uh (then some stuff that i forgot)

anyway, everyone shouted happy tchers day, we presentd them flowers. yisheng gave to suria, i gave to mr soh. and mr soh was like: eh! how they know my favourite colour is green!

the flower was bright bright pink btw.

ok, im off to await news of :/ and to pack stuff.

and suddenly the moment's gone,
and all your dreams are
upside down.

0707pm

dance to the vibe- 28.8

sundance people
do the sundance people
ahaha! everyone was so ._. when they heard that we were doing this. esp marcus.
they dont see the relevance... but aiyah. the reason why we chose sundance is cause we ALL KNOW how to do it.

makes things much easier.

and it helps that the Sun is really well, almost all the energy sources need the Sun. like biomass or whatever, the plants need the Sun you know. to grow.

hahaha! benjamin is right. I'm a genius by chance (:

and we got super high. it was fun lah. even kwanki was in a good mood today.
i quote: the robot is perfect as from now.

*beams* see kwanki. i wasnt desperate. i was being realistic.

all we need now is luck to be on our side on the day of NJRC and we can win anything.
though we want overall championship so freaking badly this year, I reminded myself today not to well, aim so high. cause the higher the expectation, the more I hope, the harder the fall will be, and the taste of defeat will be excruciatingly bitter in the end.

so for now, im just aiming to give my 120% for everything I'm given to do.

See, I knew everything will turn out right in the end.
NJRC, according to yisheng and andrew, confirm on friday. this means, my piano exam (thursday) wont clash (:
I do hope my group will get in for presentation finals. though... thing is, we'll be in johor when they receive the news. so, we kinda have to be alert and everything. and pray we have transport to drive us back.

ohkay I'm listening to Things I Never Say now and I feel superhigh.
if I can say what I wanna say
I say what about you
be with you everynight
am i squeezing you to tight
if i can see what I wanna see
I wanna see you go down on one knee
marry me today
yes im wishing my life away

you're worth it

gawwd. i need someone to sing with me and go spastic.

hah! today during recess there was this cute thingy called mr bean. well, it was this person in a bean suit. he looked like a superbig soft toy. a super BIG CUTE ADORABLE PINCHY CHEEKS soft toy at that

winnie and i went gaga over him. like omggg. so cute luh so cute luh. swoooons-

i feel on track today. like im used to it all already and i keep telling myself I can do it, no matter how cheesy and cliche that sounds, because im zhixin.

like kwanki was saying its good that i have such a positive attitude but I was like nooo. its not positive its realistic. I mean, yeah. cry over my results? I mean, I do luh. just not everytime. I mean, if everytime I fail or something and I'm supposed to cry or feel depressed I would be one of the Most Demoralised People or something.
just no point scaring shit out of myself. the milk spilt ler, then spilt ler lor.

might as well just accept, get over it study harder.

my com crashed yesterday. yea, ouch.
reformat. buhbye loads of stuff.

but at least Im not totally hopeless, I got a bit of stuff saved in my harddrive. so NJRC wise, all saved. the rest abit :/ but hey, better than nothing hur!

photoshop cs2 prob solved, many thanks to kwanki (:

ok, i hate stupid people. not stupid as in IQ low but stupid as in stupid.

i wonder whether that's a contradiction but yeash. I dont mean stupid as in that stupid luh.

bleugh. I mean, I'm sick of stupid people making assumptions of us, making us sound so simple-minded and _ when we are muchmuch deeper than him

cause I feel so insulted.

>=(
nothing beats a long shower after a looong day. believe me. that, and mint chocolates.

and music.

ahhh and OURAN HOST! OURAN HOST IS MY ANTI-DRUG <3

! i feel like the world's strongest girl now.
not strong as in physically but yeah. (x

like the superhigh feeling, and nothing can bring me down.

well, I'm off to savour this feeling before its gone.

thanks for making me a fighter

0916pm

speak now, or forever hold your peace- 28.8

the avatar says it all.

no, im not feeling emo.
just random.
like you know, these few days, I have the urge to do crazy stuff. strut around in cowcow, dance around in circles, screaming, twirling around singing at the top of my voice going mad yeah.

anyway.
today, chyiwei and i did the impossible.
today, we went to bugis, shopped and went back to school. all in 1hour30minutes.

(:
includes traveling time and all and yea.

like after school, we just chionged to the busstop and went to bugis, I grabbed a smoothie, and pei-d her to collect her new white nike bag.

she saw this plush brown bag and fell in love with it. I saw the white version and it was <3 but yeah. im broke now.

shopped for earrings. bought. then chionged back.

like we were already running late and I was wearing that too-big shoes of mine. like when i wear it i have ta drag my feet and wanleng and day would be like: dont drag your feet! so noisy!

and i could put 4 fingers and the shoe will still be big for me.

and on our way back, fate was against us or something. cause we were already running late and we still suay suay had to wait for two mrts. both 5-6 mins. and it was really very jin zhang lah.

xinhang was like: ehh! so cool! so exciting.

cause yeah, we had the han yu shui ping thing. and yeah, well, running late and all. chyiwei had stomachaches from running too much.

but it was fun hurhur.

she flipped through my organiser today. and I hadn touch my organiser in a loooong while. ever since school reopened i guess. last time, my organiser and i were inseperable and there were loads&loads of stuff that I wrote in it.

yeah, my lil rants.

then I was just looking at all the emo shit I wrote before this term and I didnt know whether it was a good thing or a bad thing... cause when you turn to this term, all you see is empty pages.

i guess it worked luh. school kept me so busy that I hardly have anytime to feel anything emo. or think about emo stuff.

guess this is my cue to dance around in mad circles shrieking, it worked it worked

xinhang day jiawei and chyiwei were looking at my art today. and trying to figure it out. and they were looking at it the wrong side up.

:/ i feel misunderstood.

no one understands my art. :x

but at least i finished it luh.

sigh. I was supposed to be in a good mood today until my dad totally screwd my com up. so im using another com now.
this wouldnt be such a big deal if I didnt have everything in the other com.

all my website designs,art, NJRC researches, NJRC WEB, more websites, A WHOLE SHITLOAD OF SONGS >=(, AND PICTURES AND PICTURES AND PICTURES AND MORE NJRC STUFF AND MORE DESIGNS AND WEBSITES AND BASICALLY MY LIFE'S WORK.

gawd.

i promise not to sleep anymore in my classes, i'd do anything, just as long the com doesnt get reformatted again.

if it does, i might as well just _

I WANT MY OWN COM. like something that no one will ever touch. no one can ever screw up.
arrrgh. i feel so _ >=( now.

i'd have to work like shit.

everything. gone. _ i cant stand the mere thought.

so basically i feel so confused now without that com. likeohmygod what would i do. presentations are this week aft all. if the com get reformatted, where the _ can i find photoshop cs2 and all my designs and just ... everything.

someone stab me.

...
talk about mood swings.
lalala! ohkay ouran host episode 20 is FINALLLLY up with subtitles (: grins at wini!

xD <3OURAN HOST CLUB - my anti-drug.

0848pm

disorientation- 27.8

woke up today in a spastic, giddy mood
was humming cheesy Disney songs with rock songs blaring on my itunes
then for an hour I was obsessed with All American Rejects and AHF. yeah. and then I went crazy over 98 degrees for the next hour.

and i finally finally found the 98degrees song which I was obsessed over a year ago.

ahahaha!

we do almost everything that lovers do, and thats why its hard, just to be friends with you

i really worry for my sanity

everytime your heart is broken by the fool, I want you to know, that it hurts me too

remember how I always sing this song and aubrey will always have to sing along ahahaha. yeah.
havent been singing that much in class anymore.

cause I dont think Chyiwei likes or knows the songs that I obsess over :/

its hard to wipe your tears away, when you should be with me, now tell me why

I dunno. I feel like going madcrazy and just spinning and spinning around in circles, singing RAINDROPS FALLING ON MY HEAD and feel giddy. yeah. AHAHA AND SMILE BECAUSE IT HAPPENED RIGHT. SMILE LAH SMILE LAHHH

*looks at random person*

why are we still friends,
when everything says,
we should be more than we are
and tell me why everytime I find someone that I like
we always end up just being friends

<3 98degrees.

ohkay then tried to pia art today. the canvas is really stubborn and I got fed up.
like I cant even paint properly anymore
its a disaster i tell you.

my art always ends up looking like a disaster.

but someway or another I'll manage to salvage it

but the current one looks... bleugh

andandand i worked for like 2hours and I still havent finish 1/4 of the BIGBIGBIG canvas >=(

I WOULD HATE FOR YOOO TO FIND SOMEBODY NEW
WHOO YOOO REALLLLY LURRRBEEE

cause it would mean losing yoo

pardon the lyrics. (x im really crazy over the song now.
I suggested dance. but kwanki was really against the idea of dancing. i dunno. I thought it would be refreshing. i mean, it IS the creative presentation award luh

GNGZXA was ohkay with it.
I mean, for a group whose crazy over auditionsea, I thought maybe it would be easier to persuade everyone.

ok, so it sounds stupid. esp, to kwanki. who thinks free entertainment wont impress the judges. but it is CREATIVE after all.

stupidity is creative.

its refreshing though ._.

=D

plus, its major fun.

blahhh. ohkay, im gonna come up with a super great practical reason to persuade kwanki.

but girl, I'm a fool not to see
if I'm always scared
i'll lose you anyway

=D =D =D i think im really going overboard with this song lalala. ohkay i think im gonna go bugis with chyiwei tomorrow. wheeeeet. (: though its only for a shortshort while but hey, bugis =love. (:

though I dunno how the heck we're supposed to rush and all.

njrc presentation is getting on my nerves. like we have what 3 days? or less? and we still have yet to decide. like kwanki doesnt wanna do dance. but he hasnt got any other creative ideas.

blahh

benjamin said Im a genius by chance (: i agree too.

ahahaha!

okok im mad over Dance2xs cause they're like really <3

esp. patrick chen ohkay. his moves are like really... liquid and wooah.

mmfft. im off to continue with art. buhbye. somehow, somewhere
i got to choose,
no matter if its win or lose
0133pm

step aside- 26.8

Hey ho let's go
I'm gonna start a riot
You don't wanna fight it
One, two f*** you

Don't tell me what to do

I don't wanna be like you
Can't you see it's killing me
I'm my own worst enemy
Knock me down
I'll keep on moving
It's the art of losing

this actually keeps me sane.
went to school for some briefing. barged into com lab to save my beloved foolscap paper from the horrors that is the Little-room-at-the-back-of-the-com-lab

and GNGZXA saw history notes and went gaga. cause he thinks the notes are very good. to him lah. its the GNGZXA kinda notes. winkwink.

he's gonna kill me for this lawl.

gahh. i always get my notes and worksheets raided by everyone.

was really :/ by everything. as in, yeah. holidays homework. like I wouldnt be able to touch it until like the last day of holiday?

and i'll get _ed by the chers when school reopen but it wouldn really be my fault.

cause I didnt ask for NJRC to be in my holidays >=(

rushed to dance. was kinda :/ cause it was the I hadnt step inside the dance studio for like two weeks.

so it didnt come as a surprise when i realised I cant even do decent pirouettes and and and my attitudes were :/. fyi, attitude is the french the attitude la.

chrislyn's attitude lookd <3 hahas. she showed me a long time ago. as in i didnt know whether she was doing it correctly but she did it really nicely

then rushed back for piano.
sighs.

then now im gonna go pia art.

i feel like going all crazy on the dancefloor and just move
i feel like staying out late at night! going to concerts or parties or just to chill
i feel like going lala in the malls and bugis
i feel like watching the sunset and screaming like the mad crazy bitch that i am
i feel like camwhoring with ... anyone!
i feel like screaming into the phone
i feel like staying up just to talk to you
i feel like hearing you on your guitar, playing that song for me again
i feel like eating TRIPLE C!
i feel like twirling and twirling and turning and turning and just going dizzy

yea, i worry for my sanity too.

so here i go, so dishonestly-


0525

her killer instinct- 25.8

these pretty
bruises
you left
on my
ego.

Was feeling really bitter and hurt. &i was just trying really hard to suppress those spiteful, hateful feelings inside of me the entire day. well, not hateful. just really, really. hurt.

and the common test results are like the icing on top. really.

cant say I didnt expect it. cause I did. F, F, D, C, B.
expecting another 2 more Fs to add to my wonderful collection.

I wasnt depressed or anything. like, aiyah, no matter what you do, in the end still fail. everytime fail fail fail... so much so that we have no more strength to feel anything. yah, you get what i mean

*looks at day*

devoid of any extreme emotion.

cause all we do is fail. sooner or later, will get use to it.
welcome to the lives of the underachievers.

I just fold the side of the paper carefully, to cover up my results. at least, I still feel the shame and guilt of falling short of expectations.

i admit that I did cry abit later on cause I was worried of losing my position, i mean it is rv after all.

kk assured me later on that they wont do it unless yeah. :/

spent the rest of the day feeling invisible.
oh well, some things never change with time i suppose.

chem spa was ohkay. hurhur. the cher was LOL. like he kept hearing people calling him and day was just trying to suppress her laughter.

yeah. and i forgot to bring my pencil, and the people were like really nice like they lent me stuff (:

hahaha.

andrew left to go science center, that heartless jerk lawl. left kwanki alone.

and then kwanki started to fall apart. and he started having breakdowns and all cause his programs couldnt work and like everyone had to help him cause he was really whining and freaking out. LOL

even I had to run the robot for him.

yeah. felt so O.O cause I know NUTS about it. and like when the robot doesnt run properly, kwanki will go berserk and I have to quickly stop the robot and calm him down and like shout: my bad my bad, I align properly this time.

STACY MICHELLE LEE SHENG DA was really mean today. it was like war between me and him. but i won, as usual. cause im damn resourceful.

I called reinforcements you see (:

presentations next week. jiayou everyone!

like oh no, we're running so short of time.

im failing piano grade 6 for sure! pfft. I suddenly feel abit like Jingmei woo in joyluckclub. but ohwells. I never did like playing the piano.

well, because of my current circumstances, i learnt to dislike it and all luh.

sighs. like everyone's gonna go out and have fun and here i am, left to rot.

the shoulder needs a shoulder.

and when the rest of the world walks out, well, only I stay lor.

it has always been empty anyways.

why depend when im supposed to be independent.

there i go, trying to convince myself i dont need anyone

pfft.

missindependent.
0811pm

a giddy blur- 24.8

ohkay im just back from _ and i feel so giddy cause the place is like a maze :/
yeah. that and i walkd too much i think.

chiyiwei & i are on a crazy streak! ahahah!
like we splurge on stuff. she's worst. since its like 70+ bucks.

yeah. but at least she's rich.

i reached my limit. im so broke im probably gonna have to go without food for weeks.

which is gonna be hard cause for someone like me, i eat ALOT.

and today there was this black bug in class. well, two. anyway, they scared the hell outta karhui huiyi beixin and leena so much so that they migrated.
ohkay truth be told, there is no love lost between insects and chyiwei&i, but this black bug was seriously crazy

ok, so we did migrate in the end. but it was like on the floor and thrashing all about as though it was on drugs. and chyiwei and i were like laughing our asses out. it was like Brownian motion (x

anyway, it continued thrashing about on the floor so I moved infront and xinhang got fed up and before the Brownian-motion bug could reach crystal, xinhang stompd on it and yeah, everyone gasped.

ahahahahaha

seriously though, I think that bug was on drugs.

either that or there was 'alcohol in the air'

i think i did pretty well for math. well, better than expected. I mean, I expected a single digit luh.
so though im confirm the worst in the whole level for that subject, it was :/ better than expected i guess.

damn, if i hadnt lose control and finished that paper, i wouldve pass with flying colours.

but i was really relieved that I passed amath. though it was a just-pass, its better than failing both math subjects.

i have chem spa tomorrow! :/ GNGZXA better be there tomorrow to keep the stuff together. bleugh. im getting paranoid. like what if someone decides to sabotage the project. i mean its so fragile. T.T

>=( everyone's going to the beach in the weekends without me.

why oh why are my weekends ALWAYS packed. >=(

*screams*

dayanna didnt pangseh me today. but we only managed to run one round. cause _
yeah. dayanna on the track is dayanna mad.

like we keep hitting each other and all.

what am i saying. dayanna's always mad.

oh and she says, in order to lose a tummy, i have ta run like 3times a week, more than 24km. or do alotalot of situps.

mmm mmm there's this new movie which i reallyreally wanna catch, ALL YOU'VE GOT. because it stars CIARA AND FRANKIE J! ahaha!

Ciara = love ohkay. *beams*

yeah. I watch the making of the movie the other day and it was really good. i mean, anything with ciara AND FRANKIE J in it is probably great so yeah. (:

as in, frankie j was singing obsession,no es amor live in it and it was really <3 and yeah. ciara and that girl from CG, whatever her name is, but she's really great too. cant wait for it to come out (x

ohkay. im going back to pia stuff.
sighs
i lead a boring life.

0707

cause- 23.8

i can change phone numbers
but i cant change my address that easily.

sighs.

stop. ohkay. stop.

this has gotten far enough.

i asked for respect, what did he give me.
and now i ask for privacy, something you can never give me.

like whatthetoot.

ohkay some things you must know about me.
i am never direct. even if you see the hints, and you ask me whether i feel like bashing you up, i'll always say yes.

take a hint: leave
me
alone

look, ive nothing against you. you were ohkay at first. and now you're like _

you have no rights
you have no say
and that shirt would be
tucked in one day.

your happiness
is not to be
until that shirt
would be tucked in.

-marcus, ys, GNGZXA

we pledge to keep our
shirts tucked in
in order to keep
our modesty

-bx

marcus. is. >=( he is 45kg, 172cm tall and damn thin.
>=(

and and and for the pdp game thing he was retrenched throughout the whole thing but he gets to pay for everyone's debts and still have 3mil in the end likewtf.

and his strategy is damn _ lah. bleugh. now i wished i had thought of that. then i would be like owning the whole game too kekeke.

yeah. it isnt applicable in real life. too bad. lalalala.

hey day! im dont think im gonna go sentosa after all. i mean, yeah... 1hr and all. which is like :/

sighs. so you guys just have fun without me T.T i'll go aft eoys

and and and bx and i are gonna take up ballroom dancing! ahaha!
ive decided. after grade6, i'll stop and go on to ballroom dancing.
grade 6 should be foundation enough for most stuff.

:/

im gonna fail 6 subjects. sighs.
im gonna be the new _ in class.

STACY MICHELLE LEE SHENG DA!
hah! that's for sending me that gory video called THIS IS NICE

kay. im gonna go pick up cowcow tomorrow. praypraypray there wouldnt be chem spa.
>=( that i cant make it on sat.

bleugh.
ok i feel _ now so i shall go >=( around.

and wantian rocks kay. today with the dance and all and she was like damn scary. and i saw her and i was like ^^
and she gave me that look
and i became : O.o > O.O > T.T

yeah. you get the idea.

then she's scary when you dance with her ohkay.

day said she got spunned until she fell. :x hahahahaha wantian rocks.

i <3 her wonderwoman speech man.

like you got me conered.
0811

insanity- 22.8

and they thought
they wont see her
like this again.
but she told them,
she warned,
go ahead, watch me
break

history just repeated itself.

SCROLL (:
I had no idea what I was trying to run away from today. I knew why I was crying, but I didnt know what I was running away.
just like last year. when i broke down.

and I didnt expect it to happen again.

last year was cause of _ pressure. this year was cause of everything. everything.

everything that has happened lately.

telling myself not to dwell in my past mistakes and move on, so as to not affect the stuff that is to come later on.

and it just sort of mounted up today and i broke

i knew after sunday that I wouldnt be ready for school

i thought ytd was rest enough

who knew.

i came to school. sat down. read the questions. thought about _ stuff and before I knew it, there i was, a big mess.

but nobody knew this time. cause after the last, I learnt not to be selfish- this time, i learnt to cry silently.

there was only tears and blood.

accidentally, hit myself with the sharp edge of the thingy.

rushed to the toilet in the mid. cause inside I was screaming to well, scream out.

SCROLL MORE! (: tears blurred my vision is most apt here. like I couldnt really see where I was walking. it was all just a blur. and I just locked myself in the toilet and sobbed.

a really pathetic sight. rush out only when i heard approaching footsteps. I knew the crowd would get bigger so I rushed out.

like wtf. inwardly I cursed myself for breaking down. all im gonna get is a big fat ZERO for EMATH. pui.

EMATH leh. zero. gawwwd.

and the chers think that im crying cause i didnt know how to do. tsk. why would i cry over that. its more than that man.

gawwwd. like i dont want to sound emo since my blog is under scrutiny and all. but its just
so
hard
to
hold
these
feelings
in
when
SCROLL SCROLL! I FEEL LIKE SHIT.
CAUSEOF EVERYTHING. NO ONE CARES SO THEY JUST KEEP PILING STUFF ONTO THIS ROBOT HERE. KNOWING THAT SHE'LL MAKE THEM PROUD. BUT SORRY TO DISAPPOINT YOU FOLKS, THIS ROBOT HAS HAD ENOUGH.

now that was fun wasnt it.

(:

tsk. you know, how they say a blog is public and all yeahyeah.
ok, dont worry, i aint gonna flame you here so keep your pants on.

._.

anyway, i just feel that well, if you know, or think, that you wouldnt like what you see here, THEN DONT
im not begging you to read this shit here. so dont if you dont want to.

yes, we must be responsible for what we write.
on the other hand, if the viewer knows or thinks that he or she aint gonna like what he or she is gonna see and goes to see, then he or she is responsible too.

now the next question is how do he or she knows what he or she is not gonna like what he or she is going to see right? well if he or she is a random person who doesnt know me, ok, fair enough sue me.

but if he or she, knows me, knows that I may at any time write stuff about he or she which i am not, im wont go so low so keep your pants on.. yea. anyway you get my point.

pfft.

dont put all the blame on some poor guy/gurl, if the viewer knows that he or she wont like what they're gonna see, or.. yeah. :/ pfft.

they're responsible too. the blogger is responsible, but he or she is responsible too.

pfft. coughcommonsensecough

i feel so _ed right now i dont know where to begin ._.

ohkay. im getting cowcow on thurs. and it seems that im also gonna go sentosa too. yeah. 9-12-school. 12-2-dance. 3-4 sentosa. then piano.

i know. like ._. 1hr sentosa. but ohwells. jsut realised that im not gonna be free until AFTER the holidays. ANNNND, eoys, are like 2weeks away from them.

like :/ buhbye sec4, buhbye rv, buhbye ALLYOU_EXPECTATIONS (:

sometimes i wonder how i tyco into _ and wonder whether i should have chose some _ _ instead.

too late for that now.

dont feel like _ now since my blog is under scrutiny by everyone. thanks to _ for letting everyone know what wootwoot is. now, everybody's gonna go wootwoot and woooh! ta dah. ._.

bleugh.

poke.

im gonna run! and watch myself!
cause it'll suck if I splurge on cowcow but cant _ into cowcow.

yeah.
omg.
what if i dont
zzz.

people like you disgust me.
pui.
like ew. get away from me. cant you see you'll never be the one.

this is screaming photo op. sigh. when all else fails, P!ATD comes in.
0806pm

insanity- 21.8

its all in the mind.

it was something like this- 19.8

aha! day brought me breakfast. thank gosh.
then went for flag day. :/

went to fmss. i think... its someone-I-know der school. but cant remember who. anyway, it looked like a primary school.

yeah. lalala.

went to holland v to ask around. then got quite alot of money. (: so much so that after 1opm, I started to slack ler.

around 9ish, some lians/beng from tanglin made an intrusion. lians walked past me, gave me that sideways look, and yah luh, as though they owned the place.

like i have more donations than them though we were at the same place. why? people SHUN them. AHAR.

pfft. cant stand their holier-than-thou attitude.

the bengs were like... yeah. they just stood near us. and were like _ luh.
they pissed this lady off and she was like: ITS NOT FUNNY. and she turned back to scold all of em.

they deserved it.

and they have cheesy pickup lines ohkay.

beng to dayanna: give me donation
dayanna: no
beng: then can you donate me your number

kay then slacked, while the others all so enthu, continued lo.

got quite pissed with _.

cause day was like saying something about lacy bras and _ was like: lacy bras? to have sex with guys is it.

ohkay, that was insulting

pfft. how _. told day not to take it to heart lah. and lacy bras are perfectly fine ohkay, _. if it makes us feel more confident, then why not. its alright if you cant stand the idea, we totally understand.

we just like more excitment in our lives. (:

pfft. funny how outrageous some people can get.

and how _hungry.

I mean, 'dont trust so easily' and 'there's more to a person then what she seemed' we all know but ... its just...
I guess we took it for granted? and we didnt think it'll happen. but its gonna.

suddenly, the world just got a whole lot uglier

kay. then felt insanely high later on. sneaked out against my conscience. but I had loads of fun (x

took neos. then went _shopping! ahahaha! ohkay so fun can!

omg i love my COWCOW!

cept I dont have the time to COWCOW. *pouts*. ask me out after 9thsept!

My COWCOW is damn expensive. :/

but i suppose its worthed it. she claimed it was a collector's item, done by a french designer... so well, :x

was inwardly lmaoing to myself. GOT MILK?

xD

ohkay. then went back. got the flu. cramps. and now im sick. as in literally.

gosh, of all the bad things that can befall upon me >:(

sniffs* ohkay Im going back to work buhbye.

1140pm

18.8

take a day at a time

this kinda love is getting expensive- 17.8

but today im fine without you

spinning my world around- 16.8

I took your words

&i believed.

if someone said 3years from now,
you'd be long gone

I'd stand up and punch them down
cause they're all wrong

I know better

cause yoo said forever



whatever.



who knew-

ohluhluh. <3PINK aka rock goddess.

I fucked up.

but I keep telling myself not to let my academics, my results, my common test performance influence me now.

not now.

now's not the time to worry
or rather, there is no time to worry

the cost is too great.
I cant let these bring me down and affect my other stuff. oh sighs.

too much too much ohmygawditsTOO overwhelming. AURGGGGGH.

and was so so so irritated today in the morning. picture this: some whiny-hilaryduff-jap-anime song annoyingly blaring in the background, with the guys all hurling fuck you fuck you fuck you and other _s at each other.

its so AUUURGH for someone who didnt have much sleep the night before ohkay.

ohkay. mr kuang is a really nice cher *grins. ahahaa.
mmm SC invest today. then there was this really cute guy from dunnowhichschool luh. *squeals&swoooons. and another shy geeky guy from nus *looks at Eunice (:

mmm and they're like all rich. most of them took taxis then there was this guy who came out then was like went up to hongjie to shake his hand as though they are 'brothers' or something la. lawl. everyone stunned.

and wantian was like... well, eunice told her not to speak so fast and I was like, uh, I think you're scaring them all.

then she was like: I'm very nice already ohkay

but she was quite scary lah. if I were some person from another school, i'd be scared by her xD

some guy: uh, excuse me, where's the gents
wantian: oh ohkay let me bring you there

then was like stunnnn. ROFL.

kay. then today pdp was this thing luh. like played a game. and I got quite rich lah. I count until170k then was like aurgh wth-i'll-forget-it-later. ahahaha. then i went off, relieved to get out.

cause like the game was kinda. well, I just dont see the point.

anyway was like I read day's blog mah. then was like ohmygawd i could've won zhuyi xDDD

ahahahaha.

im not looking forward to next week though. aurrrrgh. I dont wanna go.

I mean, sure, life's like a game of chance. but. just like >:( not like THAT de luh. not like you throw dice, suaysuay die die. everything depend on dice.

>:( i dunno. there's something about the game and everything that I dont like luh.

pfft, ohkay I know suppose to help us "face the reality of life" -roll eyes. but aurgh.

when I could've used the time to do my stuff-

pfft. ohkay I gtg go back to do stuff. AURGHOHMYGAWD SAVE ME.

GNGZX.A was telling me how guilty he was cause he didnt do much cause of his commitments and all lah.
psshhh. glad you know. aurgh.

I dont mind piaing these stuff as long as you guys dont let me down luh ohkay. I know kwanki and you have loads of commitments and all, but dont forget what we want. what we already agreed on.

Fh and I are chionging everything else. so after all your stuff, I expect you two to do the same ohkay.

bleugh, I'm so nice.

kay. off. buhbye.

0659

as I sit up in my bed- 15.8

dont let me get me

wont this end- 14.8

Overwhelmed.

my whole world would cave in - 13.8

total clashes discovered: 2.
greeeat. just greatt.

ohkay. I'm really not gonna entertain anymore projects until 9th sept.
and I'll probably be like stuffed-with-stuff everyday until then. pfft.

>:(

but i got proof ohkay. I can justify my actions.
I got like 1 whole list of OHMYTOOOTGAWDTHISISGONNAKILLME


boo. CT, homework, art not included.

which I'm gonna pia every morning. urhurhur. so people, do your homework and give me a range to reference from (:

*bangs head on table*

cause every inch you see
is bruised

gawd. i feel so overwhelmed.

to make matters worst, I keep having those headaches. and the reallysick kinda feeling. not the I'm-running-a-temperature sick but the giddy kinda sick.

I dunno how I'm gonna survive till 9th sep man. everyday is like 24hr booked ler.

and I'm not exaggerating

believe me, I wished I was

your hopeless hearts make me ill - 12.8

i wouldnt front the scene if you paid me
I'm just the way that the doctor made me
hallelujah, lock and load

love is the color of the rose
on your coffin door
what's life like bleeding on the floor
<3MCR



&you're running after something you'll never kill
if this is what you want
then fire at will.

after chem went to JE to eat japanese!
Carmen wanted to go home to eat homecooked Chinese. Beixin wanted to eat Bangalas.

on the way saw weiquan! ahar! i got his handphone number man! like he didnt even know his own number luh. so carmen got him to call her. and now, i have his number (:

window-ed abit.
and talked about stuff.

ohkay call it whatever you want luh. but I prefer to call it experimenting

why stereotype me? why stereotype at all?

sure, we're nothing compared to you. but stereotyping us? gawd.

pfft. I thought you were higher than that, princess.
you proved everyone wrong

dont get me wrong, you're nice and all.& i like you loadsandloads.
but ouch, girl, that hurt.

not just me, but them too.

anyway, for lunch, shaun joined us.
and I forgot what I said, but shaun was like: hey good. I like people who are straightforward
me: (:
shaun: but wait a minute... are you normal O.O
me: *roll eyes and looked away*
shaun: *takes the opportunity to steal my food*

grrgrr. yeah. and he was back from basketball so he was all dirty, sweaty and smelly.
then we went to take neos. then he kept irritating chyiwei and beixin. yeah. then they went to the bathroom. and we talked about maple. :O

ahurhur. yeah. then we chased him out of the machine. then he stood outside. :x
then halfway through, we were taking and all. then the backdrop curtains went up to reveal shaun looking all creepy there.

I think beixin screamt.

then when we were doing our neos, he kept taking out our hairbands and he put beixin's hairband into my uniform so we couldnt get it out until later on. and he bullied me too. bleugh.

meanie.

"i feel awfully gay coming in here" -shaun on entering the neoprint shop

bleugh. speaking of putting stuff into people's uniform, dayanna did that to me like earlier on. when we were passing notes and stuff. yeah. that madwoman. ><

she purposely der cause she knew I was ticklish at my neck.

:( "cause you're nice to bully mah" - dayanna

ohkay everything else is so tootd up now.

like my piano exam is on the 7th sept. NJRC is on the MONDAY, TUESDAY,WEDNESDAY, THURSDAY,FRIDAY,SATURDAY of that very week.

that VERY WEEK, is also the "holiday", meaning there'll be a shitload of homework. joy.

studentleadercamp on the friday&saturday before that. meaning I only have a sunday to pia a week's worth of work (ooh, alliteration).

now that's shit.

and I cant just change the timing of my piano exam cause like it'll be shifted infront instead. and like 1week or 2weeks before. which is like toot.

cause my pieces are like _ up now.

someone told me, forgot who, anyway, someone once told me that even if i wanted to fail, or know I'm going to fail, i must at least fail with pride

yeah. so like, I wanna at least try and give it my best. I sure as hell dont want to embarrass myself infront of some angmoh examiner luh.

pfft. like how am I supposed to give my best if I have so little time?

gawd. i'm asking for a miracle.

and like I dont really want to absent myself from njrc, even if it is for 1hr. cause 1hr, who knows how many judges may walk past?

ohkay, my group is really despo this year ohkay cause its our last; we want to win the overall champion.

that includes some crap components. and who else have the time in the competition to crap in the group but me?

my job there in the group is to crap anyway. its important crap, mind you.

point is, I have to be there to crap>:(

and and and, I have to do all the preparations for this week. the exam, the competition. the journal, the booth, the website LIKEOHMYGAWDTHEWEBSITE, the finding of sponsors, the money.
AND CAUSE I'M IN CHARGE NOW, the rest of the club's journals, booths, websites

like ohmygawd,stabme.

and all these when I havent even found inspiration for art. great. which is dued this week I think. great.

oh yeah. common test this week as well. great. CHEM SPA the next. JUST GREAT.

OH AND I KNOW NUTS ABOUT TRANSFORMATION,PHYSICS,CHEM.
cashew nut, peanuts, donuts, NUT nuts

bleugh. *bangs head on table*

but I'm not perfect

just all messed up.

0540

possibilities got me trippin' - 11.8

still I have to know
should I hold on to these feelings
or should I just let go

well, the papers today were sucky. I mean, its amath after all. :(
and I did study ohkay.

I'm gonna skip year:fifteen if things dont turn out right, I wont celebrate.
I wont remember this year. it'll be nothing but void.

too many things happen this year. too many 'firsts'. too many unpleasant 'firsts'.

*

ahwells. I did do chem ass. so for once, I wasnt one of the mad-chiongers-in-the-morn.
ahar! day saw me and freakd out. and she was like: just because you got blue rings doesnt mean I'll stop bullying yoo.

ohwells. I can always hide behind wantian (: or someone else.

dayanna the madwoman.

"oh please dear god let my graphh not be screwed for amaths
& pass by like one mark then i can dance arnd the room happily
or bully zhixin more or whatever
she bully me first lor"
-dayanna
noooo. i didnt bully her first. ><
reallyreally. she pokes me too much. :x

lalala.

hello seafood!
aahaha wasnt aware you read my blog (: hellohellohello!

suddenly like I'm crazy over that Bebot song. hohoho.
bebotbebotBEHHHH

had a terrible headache after amath. well, more of the kind of seasick/carsick feeling luh. not sure whether it was cause of the toot thing yesterday or the COD2 or the test. or maybe everything. anyway managed to pull through the entire day.
and was kinda toot up luh.

when I feel toot, I get emotinally unstable. like during SS. and the results of the test did not help.

its just so toot lah. I mean, if you cant write well.. dont attempt or give advice. bleugh. just so disgusted.

well, for those interested, there is such a word as sensationalizing after all. see, huimin,crystal, I'm right, we do learn something new everyday. rotfl.

sensationalizing: "To cast and present in a manner intended to arouse strong interest, especially through inclusion of exaggerated or lurid details"

pfft. curses kwanki. who revealed the existence of WOOTWOOT to many.
I think the only person who knew about WOOTWOOT was weijie. yeah. WOOTWOOT is the other address. bleugh.

well, its nothing much luh. just a backup. but now its on the school's com. and now, everyone knows about WOOTWOOT. ._.

then i was like: CLOSE WOOTWOOT.
then everyone stunn. :X

_ that _ that lianghui _. :x so it was lianghui. we thought it was like lihwei who _ it. or worse, janlin. LAWL.
ahwells. its not really my fault. cause my group has come to a point in which we cannot proceed unless andrew start something *stares*

ohkay. so cause many of my div members faced the same prob, we had a GROWME session! wheeee GROW ME GROW ME GROW ME.

rotfl. *pokes jopseph*.

DARWIN AWARDS : We salute the improvement of the human genome, by honoring those who remove themselves from it.

hahahaha. darwin awards is hilarious. its about stupid people who fked up by doing stupid things and buhbyeDIE. yeah, and the awards is well, its to honour them lah. so smart people like us wont repeat their stupid mistakes.

things got pretty messy today. joseph started the whole thing. by poking me. then he kept poking until I decided to retaliate. (:

and then he learnt to dodge. and I missed. and the unlucky person joins in. and soon, everyone decided to see me suffer *coughsadistscough*. so loads of poking, tapping and slapping of shoulders. its just the shoulders.

until someone decided to get all creative. then it was the hair. then the discovery of my ticklish spots. then all hell broke loose.

nah. lawl. its more of the poking and slapping of shoulders luh.

and shengda was like: bet you cant sleep tonight.
well if i cant get sleep it wont be because of the poking but the GROWME session luh.
*looks at mengxuan*

then they tried to steal my file. >:( which they were so convinced have stuff inside. but there isnt. then I looked like an idiot running in circles trying to get it back.

BLEUGH. which reminds me. I almost lost my wallet twice today. thank goodness for joanna and fanghui/andrew.

boo. sat beside joseph on the way home. and naturally, the whole poking thing started again. ahur!
then yisheng was pissed cause he was trying to sleep. then got dragged in. luckily, we were separated from marcus/shengda/earnest and the rest luh. or else, all hell will break loose.

STACY's MOM HAS GOT IT GOING ON! *stares at shengda*

bleugh. bigheadachelikeWOOOOOH. :(
inspiration, wont you come to me
like I'm so DEAD for art now.

sighsighs.

dont think so much. you dont own it.
so dont be so _ and claiming that people are trying to _you.
cause really. toot.

i hate .cats, dont you?

gosh, I'm dying for oreo milkshake right now :x

ohyeah! some ANGELICPEOPLE (:(: namely TUTOR! ahaha, and a few others decided to leave jl a comment.

go read it.

I shall end today's post with a quote from their comment. credits to dianfeng I think, who came up with it.

like a straw, you suck
0814pm

run away this time without you - 10.8

the kisses that you blew

woke up today to mug. then CLICKd with weijie, jingjie and peter.
there was this part where I cried like shit.
then inwardly, I was cursing. cause he forgot to warn me.

but dont think anyone noticed. hardly anyone notices when I cry.
"...nice. but freaks out alot" -kwanki on me.
ah wells. :(

then got dragged to LAN later. boo. tomorrow 's the beginning of common test and there I was, LANing. so shoot me. I was half-dragged into it :x
cause weijie already booked four. and since he offered to help me with amath/chem later on, I agreed.

played this weird game thing. didnt really realised what I was doing. just noticed that exp gained was so fast. and lvl so fast. well, compared to ms at least. so... just stone there and watch myself lvl

in a weird kind of way, it was fun
though i dont understand it.
hell, I dont even remember the name of the game.

the next game was some shooting game, which name I cannot remember.
and it was horrible. I felt really sick and got a major headache cause of it. then cause I cannot tahan, I went on to ms.

then like I just went on ms and this whole bunch of guys just suddenly crowd around me to irritate me. >:(

and they went on and on and on. like noobs luh.

I mean hello! just cause you've got a 1xx char in there doesnt prove shit about you. it just goes to show that you have no life.

toot.

then got so toot up by them, and the headache that I stopped LANing, and we went off to mug, just like weijie promised to (:

at least I know how to tackle simple redoxreactions questions now *grins*

jingjie said its ohkay to fail amath now. bleugh, all three of them said that. no actually, everyone says that. :x

*groans* ohkay I'm going off soon to mug.

head is throbbing now... gawd I feel so sick.

and its not just because of the game.

im not just paranoid. its like I knew this would happen. cause these few days I started to have those nightmares again. its like everything's back to haunt me again.

then even on my way to the library, I keep seeing faces that resemble him. and i was like, gawd, im going crazy.

then at the library, i saw him. like omg :( omgomgomfg.

shockedandsickd omg. then i just freakd cause i felt reallyscared and everything.

well, at first when he walked past, I thought maybe it was just my imagination again.

after a while his friend and him sat down not far away from us. then that was when I freaked out. cause it was him.

and gawd. i feel so sick.

then I was like hiding behind weijie and telling him to cover me. and he caught me peeking at him. and we just like stared at each other for a split second before I turned away.

and then, everything came flooding back

there I was, trying to forget everything, moving on. and then he pops in again, the devil himself.

*bangs head on table* damn headache. damn him.

thanks so much to weijie, who accompanied me home. and help me carry stuff.

*

like I dont even have the time for you anymore. im sorry.
i'll make it up, i promise.

*

gosh i feelsosick. of him. of everything.
and the game.

but mostly, him.

aurgh. and then everythingeverythingeverything
and now its just a joke

and from tomorrow, everyday will just be empty shit. everything will be like a blur.
blurred from these tears

cause I cant take this anymore. and she knows that too. its evident. im not trying to be _ or anything

but you've never really been in my shoes have you.

if only I had chosen a better combi. if only I were clever. if only I were just the same. if only I were clever.

GAWD. the headache wont leave me alone. pfft.

I think I need some time by myself
Without anybody else

0826pmSICKd

HappyBirthdaySingapore - 9.8

sucks lah. uni.cc is down. toottoottoot.
sheena's blog is still ohkay though.

what happened to mine >:(

booo. uni.cc is getting just as irritating as freewebs.

ohkay. I woke up with my parents watching a horror movie on my bed. TOOT. way to wake a person up luh.

pfft. then went to National University of Staircases to mug my arse out.
for like 8 hours. had a major headache. boo. ate subway. boo.
then went home. tuition for 2hrs. boo.

way to spend a holiday.

_ went to kallang river to fish and watch fireworks. and I was like fish?

ohkay, im gonna learn how to fish (:
ahahaha. then I shall go fish at kallang river next year. *grins*

like every inch of me is bruised &can yoo make this last?

right. I was crazy. (: and paranoid.
see, zhixin, you think too much. everything's good.

i dont need to try, now that you're in my life <3
0852

hopelessly - 8.8

no es amor

and i keep telling myself. no es amor. no es amor

&repeat this like a mantra.

amor, no es amor
its just an illusion, that I have in my heart

i think im going crazy and paranoid.
wait, I already am.

like beixin's warning keeps flashing in my head. esp. when I read her blog and everything and I start thinking too much and getting oh so paranoid

"just be careful of the people around you folks. you'll never know what they say behind your back. a person may never be who they seem to be."

she may not be referring to who I'm thinking bout. but still... I dunno. as in. bleugh, I feel reallyreally bad for thinking these. but, you can really believe what you havent seen right?

words are just words after all.

then. just keep thinking since _ is so close to _ and since _ knows bout my _ and may assume stuff...
the he say, she say, they say, i heard.

):

or what ifwhatif. like-
ohkay stop. im going mad.

maybe its because i'm such a creep? or I'm...

ohkay im paranoid.

gosh, I'm going crazy

cca investiture. _ embarrassed us infront of the all the cca leaders. like he came late for the last rehearsal, cause he didnt know there was supposed to be rehearsals the day before, and the week before.

and and and, he gu yi came late. such attitude. tsk.

and he got to the rehearsal the moment we were up. and yisheng and i were like;
janlin? [omg is that him?omg it is it is]janlin!

and cat.yeow was scolding him and everything. and bleugh. so dui lian sia.

then she kept asking us to what "look into his eyes" ._.

toot toot toot.

the real thing: noticed eunice had the green paper stuck to the chair infront of her. clever.
and when it was our turn, i stood up, and changlok and kwanki were like: look into his eyes...

and I shot them a glare before I rolled my eyes and walked up. then i was really trying to be good and all. cause huipeng says we must. so I did.

well, I was smiling at him. its not my fault that he's so intimidated by me that he kept his eyes on the floor and muttered a reluctant : congratulations.

survival of the fittest? ohkay. your funeral, not mine.

eh. like toot luh. when it was our turn, lihwei, jeffery and yuheng immediately went up and click flashclickflash.

toottoottoot.

but jeffery was nice luh. as in when it was community singing, he kept taking pictures of us. (: hahas.

mmm went all high.

the performance was kinda... well, _

eunice &i enjoyed the im alien 18, im alien 23, and together we're alien 1823 *mad dance to HAPPYTREEFRIENDS*

ahahaha. that was spastic-ally cuteee.

the We're All In This Together dance was a total RIP-OFF
ohkay fine. you wanna rip the dance on, fine. fine. fine.

but at least, do it with... I dunno, life?

the only decent dancer was that netball girl. she was ohkay luh. at least she was rather into it. but like leng said, she cant get the pump-hands-action thing right.

the rest of the people were like toot though. but, I give them credit for trying&for courage.

but try harder next time. aw.

though, whatever happened to originality. I dunno, it just seems so wrong to rip the dance off. and its like they make the whole thing look so _ >:(

and like there were 2 songs from HSM today, We're In This Together included. I mean, ohkay fine, the show is nice, but urh, relevance?

actually, HSM... well, the plot is really fictionpress-y. the songs, though catchy... like... aiyah there are better songs also?

my point is, though HSM on a scale of 1-10, i give it a 8.5, is reallyreally nice and all, why is everyone so obsessed with it?

esp the sec1s.

its just weird luh. bleugh.

you see, I'm happy without you.

then went plaza sing with leng, chyiwei, beixin, huiyi, carmen and huimin. ate pastamania. took neos. shall upload them tomorrow.
then actually wanted to catch Click. but sold out. boo.

then no place to go. so i decided to go back home to mug.

so mugged. mugged.

sighs.
no es amor.

increasingly empty.
0759

these tears are mine to cry - 7.8

today was full of extremes.

I fear for my sanity

its overrated anyway, right weijie

me:
:/ excuse me. thrs smtg wrg with my sanity
beixin:
yeah i think so too! ><
beixin:
you're like mad for the whole of today : D
zhixin:
ooops. :x
beixin:
haha its okay. i guess day influenced you


ohkay i love chyiwei cause she always bring so many earrings and accessories to sell to me at cheapo prices. (:

peace. :) day was nice to me, as in she didnt bully me or anything. just glared at me cause I poked her.

it wasnt really my fault. she didnt want to convert to Zhixinism

so I poked her.

she said she's gonna start Daynism too. or something. Daynism sounds gay.
yeah. and she claims its much better than Zhixinism.

dont. ohkay. dont. or I'll poke you (:

________ as in when i entered the classroom i was high and all and chyiwei was like O.o me.

hey dont blame me ohkay.

_ said _; _ _ at me (:


like omgomgomg. xD omg i feel so high now just thinking about it. :x

ohkay its just so.. OHKAYWHEE.THATWASABSOLUETLYPERFECT.LIKEICOULDNTHAVEASKEDFORMORE.

cause like cause like omgomgomg <3<3<3

pleading girl, perfectly contented. (:

ohkay then lalala. <3<3

mm. chem lesson was scary. like dunno how come today everyone too nervous/jumpy or smtg, then broke 3 pipettes.
could see that jiahui was really frustrated cause i think she gave out this really loud frustrated grr or something.
dont blame them. its onghh c'mon.

hey beixin, cheer up. tomorrow is SLACK day. its impossible for you to be unlucky on a SLACK day kay. (:

slept in math again. couldnt help it. honest. not like I wanted to sleep through the whole thing.

ive a sinking feeling that im gonna fail again. both emath and amath. ):

cher talked to me today cause she already suspected that I wasnt coping.
which is why I dont really like to do the 'process' homework for art. cause like, I'm telling the world too much about myself.

anyway, it was good though. as in, I feel better.

she said she knows I'm a perfectionist, but I have to "learn to say no" and that its "ohkay to disappoint people".

said I could use my emotions as a source of inspirations. belive me, I tried. but I give up. its too difficult to untangle all these emotions. me. bleugh.

broke down.

so my words came out as jumbled mess. but at least she understood.

you see, mr lim, you're wrong about me. I dont keep things to myself. I just tell them to people who understands and listens

&about time too i guess. no use bottling everything up.

my eyes have no more tears to cry
swollen. and strangely empty. devoid of any more emotions.

i went up. then down. and now, i'm _ empty.

strange how a cher can see through me. through my art, my performance, me.
scary too.

cause I thought I had myself covered.

sobleugh. ohkay I cant believe I'm actually gonna go play LAN with guys tomorrow. for a teensy while though.

before I go mug.

but still lol. I'm acutually gonna go LAN. imagine that.

:O

and tomorrow cca investiture. :/ gotta go shake _'s hand.
like today during rehearsal, was talking to yisheng about stuff then winnie was like: zhixin, you're planning something evil right

*innocent smile* no im not. i made a promise to huipeng i wont screw tomorrow up. so for her, i wont.

cat.yeow was did this classic imitation of homo head-dries-faster-than-an-umbrella. *cheers*

bleugh. everyone's telling me to disinfect my hands tomorrow.

monday blues. blah.

pot calling the kettle black. beixin was right all along.

no one said that it would hurt so bad; so how do i deal
0910pm

you are red. violent red - 6.8

give me envy give me malice
give me your attention
when I say SHOTGUN, you say WEDDING
SHOTGUN WEDDING SHOTGUN WEDDING

<3P!atd

c'mon, this is screaming photo op.

oh lookie here.
move mouse-y, move.
scroll mouse-y, scroll

>instructions: bold the ones which are applicable. count the 'bolds' and then multiply by 4. and post it as I AM ___ % bad in school.
you have gotten F9 grades for (A)math many times

you always do last minute homework in class
you use your handphone to text your friends in class
your phone got confiscated before
you listen to ur mp3, cd player inclass
you sleep in class
you curse teachers
you are always late for extra classes
you doodle on tables
you make out in class
you are rebellious with some teachers
you always hand up work late
you make fun of the nerds and geeks
you have broken school rules
you always dont have the correct books
you dont take notes
recess is your favourite part of school
you hang out after school
you lie to your teachers about homework
you tell your parents that you dont have homework, when you actually do
u have made someone cry in school
you copied homework before
you threw away homework before and lied that you didnt receive it first of all
you laugh at the way some teachers walk
you have been late couple of times



I am 56% bad in school
(: not bad eh. means I'm still quite guai.

words are just words. dont sue unless you can prove.

Big Brother is watching yoo

even though the song is like sososo old, its still like...
well, it makes more sense now that I can relate

_, what I said
yoo told me _ now
_, the presents
Might as well throw them out,
_ all those kisses
They didnt mean _
_ you ,you _
I dont want you back

oooh look! all hail the underscores.
I now censor almost everything I say.
I hope Big Brother is happy now that nothing makes sense.

_ freedom. _ _ _. < promote the use of underscores/censors.

_ you too.

bleugh. I'm going insane. _ big brother.

I've got an annoying-ly common bag. >:(

BOOOOO. and I realised I have loads of unworn clothes because there is never an occasion to. -pouts

correction: because there is never time for an occasion

ah wells, 20%mugger + 20% slacker + 60% procrastinator = me.

lalala. mm well, the only project I managed to complete for now was the interact website .
Coding was done by kwanki. cause codings for blogs are too toot up for me to comprehend. So I did the layout. (:

pfft. people, no more requests for me ohkay. Wini's ncc vids are killing me now.
I stayed up all night yesterday just to complete one, then she needed another one last minute. So yeah. one more to go. :x

and NJRC? research not finalised, website not done. why? cause kwanki and andrew 's skills are a tad too rusty. so they didnt start. so I cannot do.
and seeing how the deadlines are drawing near, I predict that ... death will befall me soon.

:(

I need loads of crash courses. physics lah, chem lah, linear law lah.
seriously, I dont care. pass can ler.

actually, to think about it, I dont give a damn.
I just want my iPod back (:

sucks. that amberle is here in SG and I still cannot find time to go out with her.
sucks. that some things cannot be forgotten
sucks. that everything's just a game.
sucks. that no one takes it seriously.
sucks. that I have a bucketful of commitments that are killing me slowly.
sucks. that I cannot say _ without censors.
sucks. that Big Brother is watching.
sucks. that I have yet to touch my BIGBIGBIG CANVAS WHICH IS COUNTED FOR CA.
sucks. that I am lagging behind everyone in class.
sucks. that I have to shake _'s hand infront of everyone on tuesday, when its obvious to everyone that there is no love lost between him and the whole club/his class.
sucks. that I still have physics assignment, chem assignment, half a SEQ, 3chinesedunnowhat_ left.
sucks. that tomorrow is monday.
sucks. that I cannot get more sleep.
sucks. that I realised that this list can go on forever.

really, you should try this 'suck' list. its really demoralising and all, if you try list everything down. you realise how toot up everything is.

so in the end, we all have sucky lives (:

I need some time by myself, without anybody else

bleugh. why cant we wear white bottoms on tuesday? -poutspoutspouts
and we're all so, kuku-fied.




like her misery needed company
0256

- 5.8

i need some time by myself
without anybody else
I just need to runaway
in my time machine
I need to go faraway
a few years back would be ohkay
I just need to runaway
in my time machine.
rofl. went to earnest blog just now and all that's left of it is:

Please wait for a moment,
you will be transferred to another webpage in a shortwhile...

Error 403: Forbidden

This website was found to be in contradiction to the Code of Conduct (COC) and had been forcibly removed. Infractions might include:

-The usurpation of functions and distribution of privileges solely meant for staff and Inner Council members.
-The irresponsibility and lack of self-discpline
-The inclusion of vulgarity in various areas
-The discussion and promotion of unacceptable behaviour
-Thank you very much and we wish you a pleasant day ahead.

Big Brother is watching you!

yeah. and the page will be redirected to BigBrother, wiki-ed.
for noobs, Big Brother is a fictional character in Orwell da ge de 1984. Its to constantly remind the people the "truth" of the propaganda system luh.

and now, its used as an informal name, to describe any overly-inquisitive or overly-controlling authority figure or attempts by "government" to increase surveillance



remember, Big Brother is watching you~

yeah. like we care. >.>

Cprogramming test. oh bleugh. lihwei gave earnest, tif and I crash course yesterday. Well, I understood everything, but I didn know how to write one.

so heck.

like what sh says: programming is important. but I just dont want to learn it now.
not when we're overwhelmed by other stuff.

for now, understanding it would suffice.
:)

marcus was really toot up about the whole C test. as in, he was sleeping and his personalmessages were about doing stuff to lsf rotfl

I quote: kaninabuchaochibaibastardsinhalesebitchfromehellfuckinassholetalibantamiltigercheebainobraincrappeduppieceofshit

I was lucky. cause I picked the pc which yisheng occupied yesterday. so he had his other program saved in there.

I manipulated it (x

manipulation is what I do best man. I'm the Queen of Manipulation.
Kwanki, that toot who finished 1hr earlier toottooottoooot, peeked at my stuff and told me through _talk that "it would be obvious that I copied"

again, I would like to stress that I didnt copy. I manipulated it. besides, it was an OPEN BOOK TEST. if we are allowed to take info from sites, other programs, share notes then why cant I use yisheng's program :)

ahaha. I'm a genius.

I mean, at least I submitted something ... its better than nothing anyway. we were planning to submit just our name &school and that's it.

but kwanki was very nice. He looked through my program and through _talk, he edited it for me, told me to delete stuff and to replace it with some cheeeem stuff.

and the whole time I was trying to suppress my laughter. cause like I didnt know where he was referring to. then I will randomly click a certain part and he would either shake his head violently or nod.

aw well. the program wont work. Borland C wont debug. so like what Marcus said, " I wont debug as well"

I'm satisfied with my performance anyway. that's all that matters. eff _
I may not be able to program. but I understand. :)

yesterday we were crossing the road than this car was trying to stop then overshot abit lah. then the first thing kwanki did was to cling onto me as though he was about to die.
rotfl. then marcus was like: kwanki, you wont get killed/crashed into when the car is going at that kind of speed

kwanki: ohkay fine whatever
me: even if it does, can you please dont cling onto me. I'll get killed too leh.
kwanki: hate you.
me: fine fine. cling onto me. I'll die with you. die together lah. happy?
kwanki: that's better. ahahaha

the things we have to do for our friends. sighsighs.

mmm after that rushed to dance lessons.
and today was so damn embarrassing >:( I did my pirouettes and I fell. imagine that.
I fell

like, who falls? I mean, stumbling is ohkay. everyone stumbles. but I've been doing it for like 3grades? 2grades. And I FELL.

:'(

and it was a clumsy, heavy fall. After I tried to releve, I turned and just tripped over my feet and turn turn and PLOMB. fell. and I landed whole body sprawled on the floor.

anyway. its sophia's bdae today. happy birthday sophia :)

ahaha. she shares the same birthdate as stella. happy birthday stella

bleugh. ohkay I shall go work on wini's ncc vid.

gosh. I feel so drained nowadays.
bleugh. since day's dedicated All I Ask Of You to me in her blog, I shall dedicate these pics to her:





blah. if thats not enough for yoo day, you can always google him. :x

*
hey its flattering and all. but stop.
dont try to understand me. dont help me.
I dont want help.
you think by helping me, you'll make things better.
but you're making everything worst for me.

things have to be done right and no one can do what I need to do right, but me.

so eff off.

when I say I'm always busy. I'm always busy.
so stop bugging me.
and you and you and you and you.

you guys dont live the life that I do. so unless you can relate, dont.

and dont assume that we assume
gosh, I keep wanting to scream that in your face every _

aurgh. damn people.

the weather today is slightly sarcastic
0801

rain drops on roses - 4.8

raindrops on roses
&girls in white dresses

inside. what a wonderful caricature
of intimacy

<3P!atd

dayanna is a woMAN of her words.
she came today, all innocent and nice, saying how she's too tired to bully me.
and the next thing I know, during english, she moved her table next to chyiwei to come bully me.

cause I'm sitting next to the wall. so mei ban fa, chyiwei was caught in the middle of today's bitch WAR.

like we kept arguing and then she came to poke me. So I took my flexi ruler to poke her. then she stole my flexi ruler to poke me back TWICE.

defenceless, I grabbed the nearest object - huimin's 30cm ruler

I tried to poke dayanna back. but she was armed with MY ruler and her stupidthick file.

somehow, I managed to poke her once or twice. then she =Oed, lean-ed forward, then smack my head, poke me, smack again, pokepoke.

then junqi huimin everyone saw and they were like =O

and before we knew it, dayanna also had my ruler. =(

yah. and I was clinging to it mah so I got this nasty red mark on my palm. anyway. junqi&sheena were like GOGOGO zhixin!
yeah, and they supplied me with sheena's flexi ruler. and I decided that I suck at attacking. So I went straight on to defence.

yeah. then she bullied me, chyiwei and almost everyone. like she's deluded and kept saying what everyone's thinking of her. maybe day's possessed. :)

boo. its a good thing there's no school tomorrow. or else she'll bully me again.:(

cant take the kid from the fight,
take the fight from the kid.
then after the whole thing junqi said to dayanna: "lame shit lah"
ahaha. junqi's 'lame shit' is so cool. :D

awww. >=( tomorrow amberle's coming to sg but I wont be able to meet her cause of toottoot C PROGRAMMING. pfft.
&other commitments luh.

but according to her, she's gonna be coming to sg more often so :D yays. then I'm gna camwhore with her and make jiawei jealous or something.

and jiawei, if you're reading this, she says she "dont want to meet you" :)

xDD

boo. dayanna kept telling me not to shuffle my feet when I walk. but like my shoes are way too big and I have no time to get a new pair.
so I drag my feet lo. ahurhur.

and! i'm gonna go for _lessons! for free! :DD ahahahah! wheeees! *dances around*

*

I'm not coping. but mei ban fa.
all I need to do is breathe.
I just need more time.

its like everyone is pushing me to my limits. I mean thats fine, thats good.
but not until I'm in the situation where I'm not allowed to fail.

like toot. this is _. how can I NOT fail lah right.

but its ohkay. if this is how you want it to be.
I'm very good at adapting to my circumstances.

oh, and believe me when I say I'm capable of anything
because at this point, nothing matters.

life's but a game now. I might as well play dirty.
I have no regrets

ohkay. i better go pia Cprogramming now. or I shall like die tomorrow. :(

&today I'm fine without you
0828pm

with a lil more poise than that - 3.8


Stop stalling,
make a name for yourself.
Boy you better put that pen to paper
and charm your way out.
If you talk you better walk
you better back your shit up
With more than good looks
while you're all under the gun

>=(
I have mine, you have yours
like lay off mine?

how do you _ _ anyway. _ is innocent man.

_ are innocent.

I mean, they're just _ after all.

so what if you _ better just cause you've got the better _.
I _ what I _.

at least I dont let my _ _ me.

and I thought we were supposed to be ohkay?

ouch, ohkay. ouch.

beixin is right. I'd better WMB

pfft. I dont get why you guys shun them four anyway.
GAWD. WHO DIED AND MADE YOU GUYS ROYALTY

dont DISCRIMINATE. give them a fair chance. its like they're nice ohkay.

not all four of them are rotten to the core. I can only speak for ws and t. cause I know them. but yeah like. what DA fook is your prob luh.

blah. im in the mood for a bitchfight now man.
and its gonna be your funeral anyway cause I know day. and day always win bitchfights.
ahahahahaha

she let me win yesterday's bitchfight cause I borrowed ying yong wen for her. :) im so nice.

then she very xing ku today. cause she cant bully me. so she went to terrorise beixin. but its ohkay. cause zihan grabbed her butt. :)

we love zihan. ahahaha xD

had math remedial. LIKE ROTFL man. omygawwd. i miss chngchng!
like for the whole time he was there, i was giggling and all then he was like: come come serious arhhhh...
then my whole body was shaking as I tried to suppressed my laughter.

chng: what class you from arh alan
alan: *says his class*
everyone: 3L. alan from 3L
then everyone yelled 3L or 3something
then jingwei yelled: ALAN IS CLASSLESS!

LIKE WOOOH i miss jingwei lah. if day was there ah. LOL.

chng so funny man! PALLLOLEELLLLOOOOGLAM.

xD
ROTFL.

kay. i'll be i good girl and go work now.

tsk. still so young, desperate for attention. tsk

.0705

when I say "SHOTGUN", you say "WEDDING" - 2.8


the only difference
between martyrdom and suicide is press coverage
P!atd = love.

wahaha.
I love that title man.

Swear to shake it up,
if you swear to listen
Oh, we're still so young,
desperate for attention
I aim to be your eyes,
trophy boys, trophy wives

<3

"I'm not flat, want to see"
lawl.

day brought this booootiful cream vintage dress that was drop. dead. gorgeous. :(
I want I want.

pfft. leng and day said my tops were usually rather lian :((
yea. they say blame on MS and its influence on me.
but thats not true lah. I'm not a twit/lian, though how I dress may... suggest otherwise.

I still dont think so leh! as in, I dont really dress like a lian leh. :/

bleugh. at least, my intentions werent to look like one.

this year's NDP song is toot. like toot. even dayanna can sing better.
ahurr. ._.

give us this day our daily dose of faux affliction

and every _lesson is so xing ku lah. I think I can use it to like lose weight or something. bleugh.

each man for himself, eh.
its alright really. considering I have always lived by that creed too.

I'm used to it. just dont come crawling back to me.

mrs tay lost her temper today. well kinda predicted that. its like a ticking time bomb lah.

bleugh. I got rather cranky today. with _in our timetable and everything. >:(

and and and ...
bleugh.

HOEkay.
went towning with leng and day for red tee.
blah. day was really mean to me. *big innocent eyes*
yeah. and she pulled my hair and we almost had a bitchfight in town. but yeah, she started it.

yah. then leng had to ask us to stand at one end of the wall then the other person on the other side. yah. cause she was embarrassed by dayanna.

see. :) how can she be embarrassed of me? I'm so nice.
and harmless. :)

unlike the evil dayanna.

mmm went to Sonata. like finally found out where that shop is. yeah, saw maia lee at heeren.
and she's ACTUALLY shorter than day. like wow.

then went around trying to find a red tee.
was so tiring lah. but I needed the exercise anyways cause lately I've been gorging myself with food.

blah. I cant stand _s anymore. those irritating bunch of toots.
hellooooo like I have a life. ._.
toot you. toot you too. and most of all, toot yoo

dont ask me why I'm so busy. ask yourself why you're so free.

I esp loathe it when _s dont believe me when I say that I'm busy and continue bugging me.

like hey. FOP.

I dont know why I'm so nice. its like a curse or something; almost everyone takes advantage of it.

LIKE HEY GIMME A BREAK. >:(

my eyes feel so swollen and heavy and puffy.
deprived of my sleep makes me xtremely cranky in the morning.

and I miss di so veryvery-

two compleste strangers.
acceptance.
understanding.
us against the world
and its you&me on the phone all the way till 4am.
i missed that.
i missed the late nights. the calls. everything.
how you made me feel :) again.

havent you people heard of closing the goddamn door
0920pm
&if I could hold on to the tears&the laughter - 1.8


no she cant be the one
that you one
that left a stone in my world
its not real
its not right

P is for Pathetic.
and P is for Paranoia.

sorry but I have something against leechers&wannabes.

toottoottoot.

like this guy wanted was supposed to transfer to comclub luh. but when I was closing the door to the lab later on, I happened to read the piece of paper outside the com lab.
turns out that the guy was supposed to be banned for 20days. was kena caught for playin games.

awww.

like hey LIHWEI, u owe me 10bucks. :(
and the rest of the excos, well, especially ys, gngzx.a and kk were pretty enthu about carrying out Plan B.

cuase plan A isnt doin anything, well in KK's opinion. and he's getting irritated and all lah.

so they went down the register for a few classes and it was like ._.U seriously, I dont like Plan B. it involves too many things.
and then everything will get more complicated.

and then misunderstandings. lies. wildfire.

pfft.
when life gets predictable, its high time you get another one.

my blog posts are shorter now that I found people to rant to :)



0939pm